Pension Hats
Description: Proceeds received from your purchase will be split between: 1) Getting the creator of the artwork to Dabblecon 2 in August 2024, 2) A legitimate, registered charity supporting U.S. military veterans. ***The image used was NOT obtained from a podcast owned or published by Stuttering John Melendez. This merchandise does not infringe on any trademarks currently owned or registered by Stuttering John Melendez.***
Description: A black and white text-based composition. The top and middle lines of text use a stencil-like font, reading "GOODBYE" and "HELLO" respectively. The second and fourth lines feature cursive lettering, stating "Tension" and "Pension". All text is in white against a black background.
Description: A black background with white text. The top line reads "GOODBYE" in bold, uppercase block letters within a white rectangle. The middle line features "Tension" in a flowing, script font. The bottom line reads "HELLO Pension" with "HELLO" in bold, uppercase block letters similar to "GOODBYE", and "Pension" in the same script font as "Tension".
Description: A black background features white bold text stating "RETIRED POSTAL WORKER" on the top lines. Below that, "GOODBYE TENSION" is written, followed by a large "HELLO". Centered under "HELLO" is a yellow envelope with lines indicating motion. The bottom text reads "PENSION" in large white capital letters.
Description: Sitting on a Nest Egg That Buys Less Every Day Tears of Inflation by Puff Sumo. A man in a mustard-yellow top and burnt-orange trousers perches on an enormous golden piggy bank stamped with a dollar sign, chin raised, gazing into the distance like someone waiting for prices to come back down. It's the quiet portrait of the saver's dilemma: the nest egg is huge on paper and smaller at every checkout. Flat ochre, orange, and black ink with grainy stipple texture and clean mid-century poster lines. A wry, wistful graphic for savers, retirees, budgeters, and anyone who has asked what all this saving is actually for. Patience, but make it financial. Deadpan gift idea for the cost-of-living weary.
Description: "I ♥ MY SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK" is stacked in bold cream varsity block letters with a bright red heart, and "THE BEST DAY OF THE MONTH." runs underneath in gold italic capitals. Deadpan, dry-witted and built for anyone who lives for the day the deposit lands. A fun pick for retirement parties, grandparents and anyone counting down to their first check, or as a holiday gift.
I Love My Social Security Check Varsity Letters Best Day of the Month Funny Retirement Humor Hat
by Fisheyed Graphics
$19
Description: Celebrate decades of hard work with a retro phrase honoring life after leaving the workforce. Features distressed red athletic lettering flanked by stars for anyone stepping into a well-deserved new chapter. A humorous choice for send-off celebrations, pension milestones, or a retiring coworker.
