Cerebus Hoodies
Description: Dave Sim's Cerebus the Aardvark in a parody of the movie poster for that famous sword & sorcery film from the early 1980s that starred the eventual governor of California, that we can't name or else we might get a "cease and desist" notice, and they'll take this down. Which is weird, because this was first published in 1982. So like, they don't have a leg to stand on (but they got a buttload of lawyers, and I'm not dealing with that crap again...) 100% of the profits goes to Dave Sim, who PROMISES he's not running for governor of California. Also, that it's "not a tumor".
Description: "Star Trek fans are nerds" writing in Elf-ish, from Lord of the Rings. (I say Elf-ish, because it isn't translated into Elvish words, but each letter is converted.) ((And I don't even know if it says "Star Trek fans are nerds" because I didn't do the converting, and the guy who did is dead. So it COULD say "Star Wars fans are nerds". Or "Deep is the suede that mows like a harvest." I wouldn't know, I'm not a nerd...)) (((I've seen a naked lady.))) ((((In real life!)))) 100% of the profits go to Dave Sim (who has seen a real naked lady too...multiple times...)
Description: From the upcoming Cerebus in Hell? Twitter Men comic book, it's Dave Sim's Twitter Men Logo (blue)! Celebrate the late 90s/early 2000s with the subdued and muted (mutated?) take on the Twitter Men. From the apple store to silicon valley, you'll be dressed to leave your home in accordance with local decency laws. Impress your neighbors! Puzzle people on the bus! Seduce that girl at the coffee shop who you keep trying to invite to a private "poetry slam"!
Description: NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANANA Batvark! Relive the '666 Phenomenon! It's Batvark-Mania all over again! Who could forget Adem East's Iconic portrayal of the Darkest Knight Detector? And the classic Guest Villains: Sid Caesar as The Jackanape! Agnes Moorehead as The Feline Female! Meredith Baxter Birney as The Nun! Ernest Borgnine as the Conundrumer! And all the rest... Teamed with Tony Dow as his young ward and partner, Titmouse, Batvark fought a never ending battle against every B-list actor that didn't have a regular gig in the late 1960s. Impress your friends! Impress total strangers with a common interest in Nostalgic television!
Description: It's, I say, it's Elrod the Albino, ruler of Melvinbone, last lord of a dying race, sorcerer and slayer of his Kin, despoiler of his homeland. And he's explaining STATUS to ya boy! Available on a wide variety of products, assortment that is, except, except I say, tall pointy hats. (Bit of bad planning in my view...) The most famous panel from Cerebus the Aardvark #4. Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski used to have it on the door to his office. Now you can have it too!
Description: From the covers of Dave Sim's Cerebus in Hell? Show the world that you don't need it's approval! Based on the old symbol of comics censorship "Approved by the Comics Code Authority" logo (bizarrely owned by the anti-censorship Comic Book Legal Defense Fund.) All profits go to Dave Sim.
Description: Inspired by the classic EC Comics horror covers, it's the distressed variant to Dave Sim's other OTHER cover to the remastered Spawn #10. (THIRD BASE!) 33% of the profits goes to Dave Sim 33% goes to David Birdsong and the other 34% goes to Benjamin Hobbs (who's getting married and has to pay for a wedding...)
Description: Inspired by the classic EC Comics horror covers, it's the distressed variant to Dave Sim's other cover to the remastered Spawn #10. (THIRD BASE!) 25% of the profits goes to Dave Sim 25% goes to David Birdsong 25 % goes to Sean Robinson and the other 25% goes to Benjamin Hobbs (who's getting married and has to pay for a wedding...)
Description: Inspired by the classic EC Comics horror covers, it's the distressed variant to Dave Sim's other other OTHER cover to the remastered Spawn #10. (THIRD BASE!) 33% of the profits goes to Dave Sim 33% goes to David Birdsong and the other 34% goes to Benjamin Hobbs (who's getting married and has to pay for a wedding...)
Description: What the huh? A Black suited Spider-Vark? When is this coming out? What's that? Matt Dow was just screwing around and made this? It's NOT gonna be in an issue of Cerebus in Hell? anytime soon? So, if I buy this I'm getting in on the ground floor? This is one of them "Double-bag-ultra-rare-exclusive-first-appearance-never-gonna-get-another-shot-at-cashing-in-on-this-again" kind of things? I better buy two! (All the profits go to Dave Sim, who says, "Black is slimming...")
Description: The Logo for the home of Aardvark-Vanaheim, publishers of Cerebus the Aardvark, the Off-White House! Fool everybody that you work there. Nobody can check...(Dave isn't on the internet, and doesn't even answer the phone. And if they do question you somewhere, just say you were the colorist on Neil the Horse... Nobody can disprove it. Trust me...)
Description: Inspired by the classic EC Comics horror covers, it's the distressed variant to Dave Sim's cover to the remastered Spawn #10. (THIRD BASE!) 33% of the profits goes to Dave Sim 33% goes to David Birdsong and the other 34% goes to Benjamin Hobbs (who's getting married and has to pay for a wedding...)
Description: Meet the Varkles! Estarcion's hottest pop group. Who could forget their big hits: "Cerebus Wants To Cut Off Your Head" "All You Need is All the Gold in Estarcion" "Hey She-shep" "Please Please Cerebus" "Love Cerebus Do" and the classic "Get Back, Cerebus Has the Sword" Art by Dave Sim (1983), who gets 100% of the profits.
Description: The Logo for the home of Aardvark-Vanaheim, publishers of Cerebus the Aardvark, the Off-White House! Fool everybody that you work there. Nobody can check...(Dave isn't on the internet, and doesn't even answer the phone. And if they do question you somewhere, just say you were the colorist on Neil the Horse... Nobody can disprove it. Trust me...)
Description: The Official T-shirt for the home of Aardvark-Vanaheim, publishers of Cerebus the Aardvark, the Off-White House! Look like you're on Staff. I mean, come on, it's got the logo on the front AND back. You can't fake that! It's gotta be official. What? you think somebody could just check a little box and make an official looking shirt like this? You're nuts...
Description: Listen, we don't have any clue what this is about, but Manly Matt Dow said "upload this!" and a steady gig is kinda hard to come by in this economy. So here's "Strictly Terrestrial". What does it mean? No clue. Manly was cackling when he gave it to us. Maybe it's a "F-U" to the billionaire junior Space-Men who think they're gonna colonize the universe. Wear it proudly as you buy stuff off Amazon, or post on Twitter. Or maybe you're an alien who needs an easy disguise? We don't care as long as the check clears...
