Deadpan Mugs

Description: The saying goes - "well, this ain't my first rodeo", but you know what, if it was only the second rodeo, I'd still be concerned.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "hoi polloi". It sounds kinda fancy, right? "Join the hoi polloi for some polo, what, old chap?" But no. It means the masses; the common people; the poors. You and me, as it happens.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "a bit sweary". Whether the air around you is constantly blue, people liken you to a sailor, or you just like the odd cuss word, maybe give people a heads-up. For the mildly profane.

Description: Actually, this is my second rodeo. Designed for anyone who feel like they've done all this before.

Description: A minimal typography design of the phrase we should get sushi carol, in yellow text. Is this Pluribus Carol, or a Carol from an old dank meme?

Description: Current mental state: 100% exhausted, 0% thoughts. The ultimate deadpan cat face for students, programmers, and tired office workers.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I'll be nicer if you'll be smarter." So many people who just want to make up their own facts; it's ridiculous and aggravating. It's like people CHOOSE to be stupid. Gah.

Description: Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am out of bed. I have better things do, like nap.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Make it make sense." Because these days there are too many things that are just batsh*t insane. WTF is going on? Can you explain it to me?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "don't say 'bite me' and then act all surprised". Some of us are literal. And we have teeth. Just stay away.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "This is my second rodeo." I got my boots on, I know what time the mutton bustin' starts, and I might even buy me a funnel cake. Yeehaw.

Description: No, that's not a typo at the end of your email - "please hesitate to contact me". I hope this email finds you. Or not. Just leave me alone; we're all exhausted.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I'd just go." How much worse could it get, realistically? Meh.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "a bit much". Are you strong, obstinate, maybe even stubborn or willful? Are you British or Australian and need understatement to live? Maybe this is for you.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Artificial Intelligence: Not as great a threat as natural stupidity." Yeah. People are stupid which is why we can't have nice things. Like democracy.

Description: Make your voice heard without raising it too loud.

Description: Word of the day (everyday), say what you're thinking without saying a word. Great for introverts, mood gremlins, and anti-small-talk warriors.

Description: This Is My Second Rodeo

Description: I Like Cats I Just Can't Eat A Whole One By Myself

Description: A white "NON" gives way to a heavy red "ESSENTIAL." in a split-word headline that flips the meaning of the word with a single color change. Blunt, dry and built for anyone who suspects the org chart has them down as optional. A fun pick for office veterans, middle managers, cubicle dwellers and fans of dark workplace humor.

Description: I Like Cats I Just Can't Eat A Whole One By Myself

Description: A deadpan pink cat goes trick or treating with a tiny pumpkin bucket, surrounded by cute ghosts and Halloween stars. Perfect for cat lovers who prefer their Halloween a little more cute, quirky, and sarcastic.

Description: These boots were made for mutton bustin'. Mutton Busting, Yeehaw.

Description: A deadpan NYC Pizza Rat with a straight-faced attitude, red cap and subway reflections in his shades. A gritty retro graphic inspired by New York subway culture, underground street style and the city's legendary Pizza Rat.

Description: Jan. 1851: Russian author Leo Tolstoy confides to his diary that he'd fallen in love at a party, and then as an afterthought - "Bought a horse which I don't need at all." Ah yes, unnecessary horse; who hasn't been there?! Style variations available.

Description: A heavy white "ROUNDING" meets a stark red "ERROR." in a punchy two-tone headline that treats a person as a decimal nobody will miss. Dry, dark and built for anyone who has ever watched their contribution vanish into a spreadsheet footnote. A fun pick for accountants, analysts, finance teams, data nerds and fans of deadpan numbers humor.

Description: I Like Cats I Just Can't Eat A Whole One By Myself

Description: Hilarious deadpan selfie of an unimpressed tabby cat stuffed into a colorful oversized knitted reindeer holiday sweater by the decorated Christmas tree.

Description: "LOW" in stark white capitals leads into a heavy red "PRIORITY." that reads like a verdict stamped on a ticket. Dry, deadpan and built for anyone who has ever sat at the bottom of someone else's to-do list. A fun pick for project managers, support desk veterans, overworked teams and fans of dark office humor.

Description: I Like Cats I Just Can't Eat A Whole One By Myself

Description: i-was-promised-a-handbasket

Description: If The Women Don't Find You Handsome They Should At Least Find You Handy

Description: A rumpled bed and half-finished water glass sit beside a sticky note listing 2027 resolutions: drink water, avoid drama, lower expectations. Dry, honest, and refreshingly unambitious, this design speaks for anyone just trying to survive the new year.

Description: If The Women Don't Find You Handsome They Should At Least Find You Handy

Description: Bold serif type spells "Midnight" like a 1990s luxury ad, paired with a faux campaign tagline: new era, exclusive access only. Ironic, editorial, and unapologetically chic, this design ditches the plastic glasses for real VIP energy.

Description: "I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything." Charles Darwin wrote it in 1861 but it's just as true today. Eugh, it's too peoplely out there and everything sucks. Variants in color and typeface available.