Cards
Description: been called "unc" for being out of touch with zoomers and alphas? Lean into it! This one sports "6,7" on it too because your kids will love it if you start wearing stuff with their favorite slang on it! For sure, it will make them want to use the slang more! ; ) Also doubles as a shirt for UNC sports. But that's not the intended purpose.
Description: Logo for the artist known as Dr. Pooper. Look super cool! It took me about 67 minutes to make this graphic look as Donald Trump as it Barack Obamas! Bad Bunny Got nothing on Dr. Pooper! Dr. Pooper gonna play the half-time show at the Toilet Bowl! It comes right after the Super Bowl! Football!
Description: This is Copter-Bob. He's a Musclecopter.... Musclecopters are like helicopters, but they have huge muscley arms, like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was in Predator or The Terminator, or Sylvester Stallone in Demolition Man. Those movies were cool. Copter-Bob likes to take long walks on the beach, where he walks with his arms and he uses his fists as feet. He also likes to sit in nature and reflect on the nature of consciousness. He enjoys Jiu Jitsu, flying, rodeos, rock concerts, symphonies, and curling up at the hangar with a good book, fuel and a warm fire. Copter-Bob is an intellectual despite his brawny vibe. He's looking for a good time that could lead to something more serious. Hit him up! he's single and looking!
Description: This is Adolfo Loafer. He comes from Italy and is a very fancy boy. He is on a journey to find his mate who's name is Fabrizio, who was separated when they came to New York City on a barge, being worn by an Eastern European man named Oleg, who was not unlike Niko in GTA 4. He wore them to the Inauguration of Donald Trump, and when he got back to his motel, he took them off to air out his toes, and then some rando came in and took Fabrizio. He was all like "Nooooo! Adolfo!!! I can't live without you!"
Description: For those who dream of wieners. This design is for people with a good sense of humor and a love for sausages/hotdogs. It's better than the other sausagescapes out there. For numerous reasons, but you really should just take my word for it. I heard that Beyonce wanted a print of these for her kitchen. It wasn't from a credible source, but I heard it!
Description: This is a superhero named Dissatisfied Consumer. He is a man of the people who is greeted with sarcastic warmth at every establishment he patronizes. He indulges every opportunity to let people know how they're doing. He uses a gas-powered wheel chair, not because he is disabled, but because he says, he "never feels like walking". Sometimes Dissatisfied Consumer will pre-emptively ask to see the restaurant manager, at the beginning of a meal, to prime them for the imminent barrage of insults and kvetching. He does this by introducing himself by his given name, and then announcing he is gluten-free, vegan and allergic to peanuts and soy. He warns people not to go to places he didn't like. that's his power. pretty cool, huh?
Description: This is a lil guy named Butch. He is what he is! Butch is a sweetheart! His friendly face is ready to adorn everything you own! Fall in love with Butch! Viva Butch! Donald Trump and Taylor Swift made Butch, together in a lab that doubled as a Waffle House restroom. They went in together to squash beef. They failed at squashing beef, but they managed to create this guy somehow. I'm not sure how, because only Donald Trump and Taylor Swift were there to witness Butch be born. He's a cute lil guy. Obviously, I'm lying about his origins, but it makes for a sweet story.
Description: My face when someone asks me why I am where I am. I am stricken by the impulse to analyze the question. I regress into the depths of my mind and forget where I am and why I am there. I become a statue of a tomato. I become an immovable object. I become what Taylor Swift would consider to be an idiot. Donald Trump would call me stupid. Shane Gillis would call me a dork. I'm just trying to up my SEO with these references. I think anyone would consider me an idiot.
