The world may have moved on, but that doesn't change the need to show your pride in your home town. Be ye Pube or Gray, No man nor woman will deny yer love for the Big, er... Big...city, i say. Do ye ken? So, buy a shirt, may it please ya, and buy one of the kiddie sizes for yer Billy-bumbler.
Tags: eld, roland-deschain, gilead, nineteen, the-wastelands
I din't know about you, but I'm tired of corporate losers trying to find those keys, and I really need a T-Shirt to say so for me, because I am a little socially awkward and not much fun at parties. Plus I saw someone else wearing one and it went great with their bag. Oh, did you read that post on that message board about what they're doing in sector 10? I was gonna go, but my dad cut my Oasis feed because I told him he doesn't get me and he could eat a raw, live porcupine for all I care. So anyway, um, buy one, or whatever.
Tags: gaming, gamer, illustration, suxorz, the-oasis
Hey, remember when Peter and the guys destroyed the most beloved Christmas story, ever? No? Well ,trust us, it was madcap. Anyways, if you have some pesky spirit trying to tell you that the season is about sharing your journey with your companions of the Earth and not about the consumerist machine that it actually is, give the guys (gals) a call so they can inter the specter and that kind of dangerous philosophy in a nuclear powered containment unit. Merry Christmas, everyone!
Tags: ghost, holiday, happy-holidays, merry-xmas, santa-claus
Are you sent screeching into a homicidal rage over high sporting goods prices? Well, come on down to Blairstown for all your late-night sporting equipment needs! We are located mere minutes away from a bevy unsuspecting victims up at the camp! We have deals with all the best companies to bring you the absolute- deepest cuts! Have we got machetes? Well, brother, you just hit the jackpot! Any and every kind of ridiculously sharp item can be found under one roof, right here at Voorhees Bros. Sporting Goods! Don't forget, our grand reopening is coming up, and we are giving away a free goalie mask with the purchase of ANY chainsaw! So saunter menacingly through those woods and get on in to Voorhees Bros!
Tags: movies, horror, jason, voorhees, camp-crystal-lake
Is the torture of creative writing getting you down? Does the most beloved character in your book seem hum-drum and work-a-day? Sometimes, don't you just want to kill that horrible bimbo? Misery & Co. Apparel is the perfect accessory for a long drive in a Colorado blizzard! We only offer the finest in "Delivering your manuscript" outerwear! Don't be caught under-dressed for your first meeting with your biggest fan! Our finely crafted apparel is so tough, it has a million other not-so-obvious uses. Hastily knotted escape ropes, a gag to stifle your tortured screams so your captor will not hear as you drag yourself across the floor, a tourniquet, the list goes on and on! DON'T BE A DIRTY BIRD! GET IN THE COCKADOODIE CAR!
Tags: misery, comedy, parody, satire, horror