Eldoniousrex

Urbie Chef! We Deliver! Our special slow-roasting process seals in flavor. Allow 10 hours for all orders. Bondsmen eat free!

Against all the evil that the Inner Sphere can conjure, all the wickedness the Clans can produce, we will send unto them... only an Urbie. Rip and tear, until it is done.

Slow lane to the DANGER ZONE!

Slowly, RIP and Tear until it is done.

Join us for Big Shots Friday where all AC shots, any size, are half off. Also, register for your chance to win free reloads for a year!*

Join the cult of AC20 dogma. Bet your soul on a brief burst of holy violence. Large-caliber nirvana is just beyond the blinding light and momentary pain.

An emblem for an unknown mercenary group in the Battletech universe. I think they all disappeared during the clan invasion. I heard they got eaten by a Ghost Bear.

If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me? For I must be traveling on now 'Cause there's too many places I've got to destroy.

Tired of being pummeled by pathetic pugilists? Come to the War College of Goshen! We'll teach you to float like a Spider and sting like a Stinger regardless of your weight class. The ancient Terran Sweet Science will have you punting Urbanmechs and uppercutting Atlases in their dumb skull faces in no time. ....cause what else are you gonna do in a Charger?

Can't a girl get unwrapped in the privacy of her own tomb?

Don't stare at this Xenomorph beauty for too long. Your heart might burst!

It's said that it takes 300-500 piranhas to strip a human being. We'll see what can be accomplished with just three.

Can't stop thinking about those hot monster girls. Sometimes it feels like they're poking around in your brain...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Boo! Sorry didn't mean to scare you. This ghostly gal is simply asking for some help with her chains and earthly burdens.

This bewitching enchantress is ready to put you under her spell.

Urban Fighter Um-Zumi may not be the fastest gal on the battlefield, but don't underestimate her. She's clever with a gun that packs a punch. No robot is faster than a high-caliber shell up the tailpipe.

Let me take you back to the 80s! A time when anime and manga was a niche hobby and the public at large could only look upon it in bewilderment. There is a reason they had to put "NOT FOR KIDS!" on the cover of anime VHS tapes; if only to keep it from ending up in the kids section.

Stop by your local Federated Fast Food restaurant for our new Triple Decker F-Atlas Cheeseburger! The only meal that meets the caloric intake requirements of an active Mechwarrior for THREE WHOLE DAYS! Why eat nine meals like a chump when you can get it all at once!? Only available while excessive supplies last!

Rasalhague American Football League is bringing you the best in Elemental football live from the Ghost Bear Dominion! Why settle for inferior football played by weedy freebirth scum? Check your local Comstar listings for times.

It's the 10th Annual Sheliak Grid Iron classic! Brought to you by Triple-F! Home of the F-Atlas triple-decker cheeseburger. Join us for the RAFL Ghost Bear Dominion pre-show!

Sibko Sisters are doing it for themselves.

Join us at the Canopus Cathouse every Caturday (Saturday) in the fair future for big prizes and money. And as always, enjoy our weekend-long all-you-can-eat artificial crab buffet!

She's coming for that Soul Honey.

Somebody never told Felicia that cats don't dance.

The children of the night make such sweet music.

The only authorized StarCorp dealer on Van Zandt. Watch our listings for the Manager's Warhammer special of the week. Bring the kids to see Papa Bear every Friday for free music and mayhem.

Do you like the dark, do you like spiders, ever considered living in an intricate network of caves? Then we have some prime real estate for you in the Underdark.

Sure, they are going to tear your head off with the slightest provocation, but those few moments of blissful cuddles are probably worth it.

Take a walk on the wild side and work on those back muscles with this saucy Orc girl shirt!

Natasha Kerensky says you're next.

We are all prone to rolling those ones when the heat is on. Hopefully, the minions won't end up rubbing it in your face.

Dungeons are full of all sorts of sparkly treasures. Not all of them get along.

Is your dungeon getting a little rank? Good news! We're running a monster wash in ye old groceries parking lot. All proceeds go to rehome dispossessed Kobold tribes from the recent Sword Coast fires.

After a hard day fighting there is nothing like rewinding at your local Canopus Cat House. Enjoy our three-star buffet and the hottest slots in the periphery. Mercenaries always eat free.

Van Zandt's only certified Urbanmech dealer. Enjoy our complimentary coffee lounge and jungle gym for the kids.

After a hard day fighting there is nothing like rewinding at your local Canopus Cat House. Enjoy our three-star buffet and the hottest slots in the periphery. Mercenaries always eat free.