Eldoniousrex

"Kerensky Said NO, Amaris! You cannot have any more fries. We don't care what Jacob says!"

Sibko Sisters are doing it for themselves.

Only the most honorable of the DCMS's forces get to read this most honored publicatoin.

The HotBox's Rifleman special edition.

Essential reading for the discerning mercenary in the wartorn future.

All treasure sparkles in the light of a full moon.

Take off your clothes, loser! We're going to do some archery with mutha-lovin' wolves.

Join us at the Canopus Cathouse every Caturday (Saturday) in the fair future for big prizes and money. And as always, enjoy our weekend-long all-you-can-eat artificial crab buffet!

She's coming for that Soul Honey.

Somebody never told Felicia that cats don't dance.

The children of the night make such sweet music.

The only authorized StarCorp dealer on Van Zandt. Watch our listings for the Manager's Warhammer special of the week. Bring the kids to see Papa Bear every Friday for free music and mayhem.

Do you like the dark, do you like spiders, ever considered living in an intricate network of caves? Then we have some prime real estate for you in the Underdark.

Sure, they are going to tear your head off with the slightest provocation, but those few moments of blissful cuddles are probably worth it.

Take a walk on the wild side and work on those back muscles with this saucy Orc girl shirt!

Natasha Kerensky says you're next.

We are all prone to rolling those ones when the heat is on. Hopefully, the minions won't end up rubbing it in your face.

Dungeons are full of all sorts of sparkly treasures. Not all of them get along.

Is your dungeon getting a little rank? Good news! We're running a monster wash in ye old groceries parking lot. All proceeds go to rehome dispossessed Kobold tribes from the recent Sword Coast fires.

After a hard day fighting there is nothing like rewinding at your local Canopus Cat House. Enjoy our three-star buffet and the hottest slots in the periphery. Mercenaries always eat free.

Van Zandt's only certified Urbanmech dealer. Enjoy our complimentary coffee lounge and jungle gym for the kids.

After a hard day fighting there is nothing like rewinding at your local Canopus Cat House. Enjoy our three-star buffet and the hottest slots in the periphery. Mercenaries always eat free.

After a hard day fighting there is nothing like rewinding at your local Canopus Cat House. Enjoy our three-star buffet and the hottest slots in the periphery. Mercenaries always eat free.

After a hard day fighting there is nothing like rewinding at your local Canopus Cat House. Enjoy our three-star buffet and the hottest slots in the periphery. Mercenaries always eat free.

Knight of the future REJOICE!! Now, all the lowly peasants and unlanded serfs will know that you are a member of the Lorix Order. Lord over their pathetic existence with this blessed piece of apparel.

Looking to trick out your Marauder or Catapult? Madcat's Garage has the widest selection of parts, mods, and pre-owned limbs in the Sphere. We also do custom builds and rebuilds. Call for our extensive catalog.

If you got only one trick, then you'd best flaunt it. At least you'll get to fight in the shade.

Have mech, will travel.

Feel like your lacking that certain edge when going into battle? Does your giant fighting robot need a little pep in its step? Then jazz up your fighting instincts with the one, the only, Battle Powder! Don't accept substandard Taurian substitutes. When your life is on the line reach for the Pure Canopian choice!

Madcat's garage is the one-stop-shop for all your Marauder, Catapult, and Cataphract arm and leg needs. Ask about our custom Rakshasa builds.

Neither Snow nor rain nor NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST stays the Urbie courier from its appointed rounds. Celebrate our courageous Urbie post-mechs with this stylish t-shirt!