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I heard we are having a drugs test tomorrow, so I’m bringing in muffins, cause if I’m going down so is everyone else.
Tags: 420 weed, blunts, cannabis clothing, cannabis culture, ganja weed
Say it to my face
Tags: funny, funny gift, funny quote, funny saying, funny slogan
Trespassers won’t be prosecuted, they’ll be eaten
Tags: banned dog, bodyguard, canine, dangerous dog, doberman dog
Fed up waiting for my delivery from fedex
Tags: amazon prime, delivery driver, delivery man, fed up, i deserve to be rich
MMA fighters only have one rule, which is I’m either going to make you tap, nap or snap
Tags: boxing, brazilian jiu jitsu, bruce lee, brucelee, ip man
Do you think any of Bruce Lee’s opponents ever said "well at least I came second"
Tags: bjj, brazilian jiu jitsu, brucelee, jeet kune do, jiujitsu
Me and my club go everywhere together
Tags: baseball bat, baseball lover, clubbing, fight club, halloween
I would rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6 and that’s why I believe offence is the best defence
Tags: be water my friend, chinese martial art, enter the dragon bruce lee, ip man, jeet kune do
King Charles a run tings now
Tags: british flag, british royal family, buckingham palace, england, english
If you don’t want to become my dogs new chew toy I suggest you walk on by
Tags: bodyguard, canine, chew toy, doberman, doberman lover
99% of the population walk around on their phones, oblivious to their surroundings, so I’m sure you know someone that this will make the perfect gift for.
Tags: accident waiting to happen, cell phone, cellphone, handset, landline
How do you know what your limits are until you exceed them
Tags: billionaire boys club gift, first team player, inspirational quote, inspiring words, millionaire mindset
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho Ho
Tags: anti social, antisocial, dont talk to me, female black santa, funny christmas
The perfect gift for that hot chick
Tags: getting old, hot flushes, i have had enough of men, menopausal, menstrual
Here at the pussy sanctuary we do everything for you, you won’t even need to lick yourself.
Tags: best sex ever, cunnilingus, dogging, gentle lover, hotwife
Leave me the fuck cologne and don’t make me repeat it again
Tags: aftershave, against conformity, anti people, anti social, antisocial
I know I’m hot and yes the whole world does revolve around me
Tags: adult humor, adult humour, confidence boost, confident women, funny offensive
Perfect for the pretty, confident girl with big tits
Tags: beautiful woman, big breasts, boobies, boobs, confident woman
If you’re talking behind my back you’re in the perfect position to kiss my ass
Tags: ass, asshole, bad taste, dark humour, donkey
No pussy should have to lick itself
Tags: adult humor, cunnilingus, funny pussy, humorous oral sex, naughty humour
One year older infinitely wiser
Tags: big sister, birthday party, birthday present, funny old man, funny saying
The reason for war is always because someone wants more
Tags: air force, army, atom bomb, israel palestine war, israeli palestinian conflict
This man goes down faster than a fat kid on a seesaw
Tags: clitoris, cum this way, cumming, foreplay, invovle the vulva
If she’s dry give the tongue a try
Tags: adult humor, adult humour, cougar lover, cunnilingus, dark humour
Christmas has been cancelled and it’s all your fault, poor Santa died laughing when I told him you said you have been good all year LoL
Tags: christmas calories dont count, christmas gift idea, christmas humor, christmas starts with christ, christmas stocking filler
Dwayne Johnson The Rock As Superman
Tags: clark kent, dc universe, dwayne johnson, kryptonite, lex luthor
You are what you eat and apparently if you eat a lot of pineapple what cums out of you tastes just like it
Tags: 18 plus humour, adult humor, adult humour, dad bod funny gift father, dark humour
I wish I wish I wish
Tags: 3 wishes, breast joke, christmas humor, christmas present, christmas sweater
How am I supposed to know how to act at this age, I have never been this age before
Tags: act your age, aging humor, aging like fine wine, better with age, getting old jokes
Trump for President or Resident of the big house?
Tags: 2024 election, anti trump, bad loser, impeach trump, incite to riot
Racism is a disease which unfortunately is taught and not caught.
Tags: african american history, anti racism, bigotry, black activism, black history month
For me, drinking responsibly, means trying not to spill it
Tags: alcohol birthday gift, alcoholic beverage, bachelorette party, beer lover gift, drinking funny
I’m the original TRYangle and no matter how hard you try you’ll never figure me out
Tags: atmospheric, enigma, ethereal, i will never understand women, mysterious
I’ll never surrender Trump said while ironically in custody
Tags: american politics, anti trump, capital hill riots, donald trump 2024, donald trump campaign
Montgomery Alabama the place where if you F Around you Find Out
Tags: alabama brawl, black aqua man, black lives matter, black unity, fafo
Sha’Carri Richardson Never Count Me Out motivational, inspirational quote
Tags: 100 metres sprint, do not count me out, dont count me out, fastest woman alive, fastest woman in the world
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