Going Ape Shirt Costumes

Description: Are you proud of how far you've come? Want to declare to the world that you've grown up? Was leaving the womb upsetting? Oh shut up, be an adult and buy the shirt.

Description: Focus on the work. Focus on your goals. Focus on making the thing you make. That noise? Just noise. Get in there and do the thing.

Description: My nephew found this profound illustration in a public bathroom. He thinks that putting it on a sweatshirt would make an excellent gift for his little brother and I agree. Long live Count Sackula!!! Now in a more tidy and modest corner placement.

Description: My nephew found this profound illustration in a public bathroom. He thinks that putting it on a sweatshirt would make an excellent gift for his little brother and I agree. Long live Count Sackula!!!

Description: He's so breathtakingly stupid! You know who we're talking about. Doofus. Dumb. So dumb.

Description: Did that say what I thought it said? Not quite. Fack them bleepity bleepin' Nuzis.

Description: Do you think about crabs? I do. All the time. Morning. Night. In my dreams.

Description: I am woman and don't threaten women with a good time. See you in court.

Description: You like Jesus? He's a great guy!

Description: My son shouted this while he was talking online with his friends. I have no context. You should ask him.

Description: Some self professed asshole on Threads bestowed some wisdom on me. I asked if I could put it on a tee. He said I could for 10%. I'm going for it!

Description: If you tell a woman to smile, expect to see her fangs...

Description: Trump's a convicted felon!

Description: Who needs to pay attention to your own trial? Time for a nappy nap! Zzzzzzz!

Description: We all make up stories about ourselves. It's probably good you give others some forewarning about it.

Description: Life moves on, day by day, and we all get through it the best we can. You can tell people that some days are better than others.

Description: If you don't stop lookin.....

Description: Boobs + delicious = boobalicious!

Description: You might be free to run your mouth but I'm free to tell you to shut up. You should pay ME in fact.

Description: Got PMS? Pregnant? Perimenopause? Menopause? Puberty? Birth Control fun? Low hormones? High hormones? ANY HORMONES? Yeah, I understand. It's that time of the day, month, year, decade and you need calm and quiet. My hormones are telling me to tell you to SHUT UP.

Description: Little grumpy, are we? Not a morning lover? Midmorning lover? Afternoon lover? Right, coffee and quiet is always the answer.

Description: Are you tired of pseudo science telling you or the folks you love to STOP TAKING INSULIN! Me too. Snake oil doesn't cure diabetes but science treats it.

Description: Roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six and I'll be the nine!

Description: Shhh, you talk too much, and that makes me sad!

Description: There is a fourth choice? I win.

Description: It's a great trait to be able to learn new things. Don't be stubborn, be teachable!

Description: You're a flowery fucker, ain't ya? Fresh as a fuckin' daisy. Fuck!

Description: You're a US citizen? Speak whatever language you like. That's freedom and freedom of speech!

Description: Shenanigans? Of course! I said Shenanigans, Sir! Because you should call people out on their shenanigans.

Description: I'm not always right, but when I'm wrong, I'm always cute! A person can get away with a lot of stuff that way, right?

Description: You may be a weed, but you deserve the sun too!

Description: Knowledge at your fingertips and you can't lead a dumbass to drink!

Description: You don't have to do a damned thing. Not today. Not if you don't want to. And dammit, you don't.

Description: More teachers. Less gun violence. Simple.

Description: No, the smeller is NOT the feller. Don't blame it on anyone else. YOU farted! I know you did! This design in green.

Description: You are a person of discerning tastes, therefore, you smoke the best weed! Pass the dutchie, my friend.