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I'm a freelance creator who lives at the intersection of art, humor, and the offbeat.
Pennsylvania, USA

Cards

God Gave Men A Penis Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Men need men. For, without men, there would be no men ... or anyone else. God was no dummy. He knew that men needed a coupling device to take the job of making new men off his hands so that he could work on creating more interesting things -- like women.

Tags: breed, god, intercourse, making babies, penis humor

God Gave Men A Penis Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Don't Let the Wind Hit You in the Face Card
Main Tag:  

Description: The good thing about your anus is it's pointing in the opposite direction of your nose. Perhaps that's the inspiration for the wise saying seen here.

Tags: break wind, cut loose, fart, farting, flatulent
Make Up A New Word Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Do it now, before all the good ones are gone. He who hesitates is gleeped! Make an acronym too, JIC. Remember when FOMO wasn't a thing? Just do it. Oh! Make up a slogan too!

Tags: authors, book nerd, book worm, crossword, dictionary

Make Up A New Word Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Verbosity is not in my Vocabulary Card
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Description: I've got a lot on my mind, not on my tongue. I'll speak when there's something to say.

Tags: empowered woman, equality, feminism, feminist, independent woman

Verbosity is not in my Vocabulary Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Make Liars Great Again Card

Description: Nothing beats the people in charge telling you the things you want to hear. Disinformation is the best information.

Tags: candidate, democrat, election, liar, maga

Make Liars Great Again Card

$5.00 $6.00

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I Love My Boss Card

Description: Working ain't so bad when the boss isn't a jerk. My boss knows my needs and hears my grievances like he could read my mind.

Tags: boss, business entrepreneur, digital nomad, entrepreneur, home business

I Love My Boss Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Will Coo for Boob (diaper) Card

Description: They start younger ever year, negotiating, making deals, long before they know what quid pro quo means ... you know -- a favor for a favor, like you scratch my back, etc. Or a tit for tat. Well, that's the opposite, but I had to work it in somehow!

Tags: baby, boobees, boobs funny, breastfeeding, infant

Will Coo for Boob (diaper) Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Will Coo for Boob Card

Description: They start younger ever year, negotiating, making deals, long before they know what quid pro quo means ... you know -- a favor for a favor, like you scratch my back, etc. Or a tit for tat. Well, that's the opposite, but I had to work it in somehow!

Tags: boobees, boobs funny, breastfeed, breastfeeding mother, mothers milk

Will Coo for Boob Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Stay Cool. Go North. Card

Description: Camels know cool. They can take the heat, but even they have their limit. I'm a big camel fan. Unfortunately, I can't keep them cool.

Tags: armageddon, doomsday, earth day, ecology, end of the world

Stay Cool. Go North. Card

$5.00 $6.00

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O Canada Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Show your allegiance to the BEST country in the western hemisphere.

Tags: canada is not for sale, canadian patriot, canadian patriotism, hockey, hockey lover

O Canada Card

$5.00 $6.00

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I Love Canada Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Show your love to the BEST country in the western hemisphere.

Tags: canadian, hockey, hockey life, hockey lover, ice hockey

I Love Canada Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Timbo & Butch Winter Card
Main Tag:  

Description: One doesn't have a mouth, the other has no arms. They don't let that stop them. An old boomer and a . . . who-knows-what, team up for your pixeled cartoon character delight in eleven and counting poses. Collect them all! No assembly required.

Tags: alien, baby boomers, barefoot, butch, cartoon character

Timbo & Butch Winter Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Sump Trucks Card
Main Tag:  

Description: For hauling the crap from the big orange cesspool.

Tags: candidate, democrat, election, make america great again, partisan

Sump Trucks Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Make Great Good Again Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Political discourse has risen to a feud-like level. Mutual civility is lost. Now, those on the other side of the aisle are treated like enemies. We must do better.

Tags: democrat, election, make america great again, political, politics

Make Great Good Again Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Make America Smart Again Card
Main Tag:  

Description: In order to form a more perfect union, the America people should be an informed electorate ... hmm ... a cognitive citizenry ... er ... an astute constituency ... smart frickin' voters!

Tags: democrat, election, make america great again, political, politics

Make America Smart Again Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Phffft! Card

Description: Prime sustenance for the student body and pre-eminent frat party potable. See you in Professor Kegger's class!

Tags: beer party, campus life, college humor, college kid, frat party

Phffft! Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Phffft! Card

Description: Prime sustenance for the student body and pre-eminent frat party potable. See you in Professor Kegger's class!

Tags: beer party, campus life, college humor, frat party, fraternity

Phffft! Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Cerne Abbas Giant (safe for work) Card
Main Tag:  

Description: He's known for his most prominent feature, and it's not the long, hard shaft he wields. One wonders why he roamed naked through the ancient forests at the dawn of time. We like to think of the giant as Lord Morningwood.

Tags: ancient art, big weenie, butt, cerne, cerne abbas

Cerne Abbas Giant (safe for work) Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Delivery for Mr. Screw-up Card

Description: Whoa, you must've really screwed up this time. A sandwich is not enough -- it's one large shit pizza for you!

Tags: delivery, karma, man up, pay your dues, pizza

Delivery for Mr. Screw-up Card

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I Like to Poop Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Who doesn't like a good dump? A satisfying poop is almost as enjoyable as the hot dogs, nachos, ribs, and fried chicken that produced it. But the dog is king of dumps. Though he may not sit on a throne, he has a servant to clean up afterwards.

Tags: dog lover, dog person gift, dog poop, dog sitter, dog walker

I Like to Poop Card

$5.00 $6.00

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GemStone III on GEnie Card
Main Tag:  

Description: A text-based MMORPG. They said GemStone would never last after EverQuest came out, and World of Warcraft, and Guild Wars. Yet it remains. How? It uses the power of words to run the best graphics engine ever created -- your mind.

Tags: cleric, goblins, gs3, gsiv, kobolds

GemStone III on GEnie Card

$5.00 $6.00

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My Cat Is Trained Card
Main Tag:  

Description: They say it isn't possible. But I've done it. I've trained my cat to ignore every instruction given to him.

Tags: cat lover, cat lover gifts, cat owner, cat owner gift, cat person

My Cat Is Trained Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Certified Gym Rat #2 Card
Main Tag:  

Description: He's there when you walk in -- baggy shorts, socks sagging over white high-top Chucks, T-shirt with the fading logo of his alma mater or some Big 5 school, or PAC 10, or Big East. And he's there when you leave, taking jumpers or waiting for yet another pick-up game.

Tags: baller, basketball, chuck taylors, final four, gymnasium

Certified Gym Rat #2 Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Certified Gym Rat Card
Main Tag:  

Description: He's there when you walk in -- baggy shorts, socks sagging over white high-top Chucks, and a T-shirt with the fading logo of his alma mater or some Big 5 school, or PAC 10, or Big East. And he's there when you leave, taking jumpers or waiting for yet another pick-up game.

Tags: basketball, chuck taylors, final four, gymnasium, hoops

Certified Gym Rat Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Certified Gym Rat girl Card
Main Tag:  

Description: She's there when you walk in -- baggy shorts, socks sagging over white high-top Chucks, and a T-shirt with the fading logo of her alma mater or some Big 5 school, or PAC 10, or Big East. And she's there when you leave, taking jumpers or waiting for yet another pick-up game.

Tags: basketball, chuck taylors, final four, gymnasium, hoops

Certified Gym Rat girl Card

$5.00 $6.00

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When You're A Cat with skyline Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Cats are cool. Like a 50's finger-snappin' Broadway show. Those cats could dance. This cat can't. This cat is dead.

Tags: 50s, broadway musicals, broadway theater, cat owner, cat person

When You're A Cat with skyline Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Nightmare Inducer isolated Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Lovecraft blanched when he saw this (we'd like to think). When Clive Barker saw it he may have fainted, and Stephen King surely was just all grins. And you? Take your eyes away from it, before you can't.

Tags: fear, frightful, horror, horror fan, horror movie addict

Nightmare Inducer isolated Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Timbo & Butch with title Card
Main Tag:  

Description: One doesn't have a mouth, the other has no arms. They don't let that stop them. An old boomer and a . . . who-knows-what, team up for your pixeled cartoon character delight in eleven and counting poses. Collect them all! No assembly required.

Tags: baby boomers, barefoot, boomers, butch, cartoon

Timbo & Butch with title Card

$5.00 $6.00

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The Supreme Court is Broken Card

Description: Impartial, honest, nonpartisan, objective, apolitical. If the U.S. Supreme Court is not all of these things, it is broken.

Tags: abortion, democrats, government corruption, immunity, politics

The Supreme Court is Broken Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Nightmare Inducer Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Lovecraft blanched when he saw this (we'd like to think). When Clive Barker saw it he may have fainted, and Stephen King surely was just all grins. And you? Take your eyes away from it, before you can't.

Tags: creepy, frightful, halloween, horrifying, lovecraft

Nightmare Inducer Card

$5.00 $6.00

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GemStone III on GEnie Card
Main Tag:  

Description: A text-based MMORPG. They said GemStone would never last after EverQuest came out, and World of Warcraft, and Guild Wars. Yet it remains. How? It uses the power of words to run the best graphics engine ever created -- your mind.

Tags: cleric, gamers, genie, gs3, gsiv

GemStone III on GEnie Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Summer Dream Card
Main Tag:  

Description: All winter long you dream of summer. Hot sunny days and lazy, care-free nights. Unless you live near the equator, then -- phffft -- ignore the above.

Tags: beach bunnies, beach life, beach party, bikinis, camper

Summer Dream Card

$5.00 $6.00

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When You're A Cat Card
Main Tag:  

Description: Cats are cool. Like a 50's finger-snappin' Broadway show. Those cats could dance. This cat can't. This cat is dead.

Tags: 50s, animal, broadway, broadway musicals, cool cats

When You're A Cat Card

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Test Man No Text Card
Main Tag:  

Description: He has taken the test. He is the Test. He is the mysterious pixelated Test Man. Formed from a smear of pixels, he haunts the virtual space. Origin: A humble social art website. Location: Virtually everywhere. Objective: "Meme-dom." Pencils down.

Tags: 8 bit, face, memes, mysterious, odd

Test Man No Text Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Delivery for Mr. Cock-up Card

Description: Whoa, you must've really screwed up this time. A sandwich is not enough -- it's one large shit pizza for you!

Tags: delivery, humor, karma, man up, pay your dues

Delivery for Mr. Cock-up Card

$5.00 $6.00

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Fix the Supreme Court Card

Description: Impartial, honest, nonpartisan, objective, apolitical. If the U.S. Supreme Court is not all of these things, it is broken.

Tags: abortion ban, democrats, government corruption, immunity, politics

Fix the Supreme Court Card

$5.00 $6.00

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