Stickervert

Description: There comes a time in every peace-lovin', kindness-oriented life when some moves simply must be busted. Go forth and give the mean jerks your what-for, my friend. Buddha approves.

Description: Don't judge others! Lest you trip on an ironic statement and fall on your face.

Description: Introverts everywhere silently acknowledged the day the Global Wellness Syndicate made personal boundaries a thing. Do your boundaries need some support? No problemo! Say it with me, friend: "Nope. Just nope." You got it, Champ.

Description: Trump is the same shallow-thinking silver-spoon chuggin' tantrum-throwing pussy-grabbing racist he has always been. Nothing he does is surprising. In fact, he's not even the problem: it's MAGA -- the good folks who voted for him because they thought he'd go on ahead and be mean to someone ELSE, and that seemed like a fine deal -- that's the problem. They alone enabled the destruction of our national integrity for the sole purpose of lining the pockets of a buffoon with a dictator fetish. Trump is a brass-plated opportunist. MAGA is the true disgrace.

Description: Slavery beget KKK beget segregation beget Southern Strategy beget Tea Party... and, viola! Trump. The highest form of the lowest evolution.

Description: The oligarchy is here, and we can thank the zealots who, somehow and in the face of all available evidence, used the Bible to justify their vote for a racist, rapey, amoral crook. Because they thought he'd hurt somebody else. And they were okay with that.

Description: Sure, we are an imperfect nation, built on the terrible legacy of a crime against humanity; one which Justice has never truly resolved. Instead, it continued on through the centuries hiding in the fabric (white supremacy, lynching, Red Lines, Jim Crow, mass incarceration, and on and on and on). But, still! There were principles in place, and we could believe that we would one day live up to them. Yeah. Those were the days.

Description: Ever been the lone vegetarian at the table, breakin' a sauna sweat tryin' to protect your queso territory from the wing gnawers and calamari chompers that surround you? Yeah, that. Exactly. Thank you.

Description: Do you resent cloudless, 73-degree days that cannot be commented upon? Collapse inward every time someone asks you how it's going? Dread hearing how it's going with their kids? If so, you may be an introvert. Join the club! There are no meetings. In fact, we never want to hear from you. Just stay over there and feel your feels, champ.

Description: You know you've reached the Enlightenment Era of menopause when you're woman enough to know that the point is not to pretend no one is watching: the point is to dance like you don't give a hairy eff whether they're watching or not. Look at me, world! I am shakin' what I still got, cause' ibuprofen is cheap in the same way that time is not!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Description: I plan to float away on a fast-flowing tide of inexpressible joy the day humanity deletes these three items from the Food Pyramid: raisins, mushrooms, and corn chunks.

Description: Your library card is free. And, with that in your wallet, you're rich! You're livin' every day in such a way that you wouldn't change a thing. Except maybe get a better haircut.

Description: Book lovers fight for the books they love; freedom lovers fight for the ones they hate. Wear this fancy gear to the next meeting of your public library's board of trustees, and remind them (because some of them forgot) that the First and Fourteenth Amendments guarantee freedoms of thought, expression, and equal rights -- which means you're gonna find stuff on the shelf at the public library that you dislike, or maybe detest, or possibly even hate. And that is exactly how it's supposed to go.