Deadpan Socks

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Fetch WILL happen." Don't stop trying to make fetch happen. Fetch WILL happen. Oh yes, it will.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I spent all day doing side quests instead of progressing the main story". It's not JUST the neurodiverse, the neurospicy, the spectrummers, the ASDers, those with ADHD - but all those things help, eh?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "eccentric recluse". Are you Gloria Swanson or Howard Hughes at heart? Prefer to be pacing around your deserted Beverly Hills mansion, drink in hand, than out and about? Yeah, thought so.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Silently judging your outfit." Is that what you're wearing to the thing?! Oh. OK. No, it's fine. Really! You look great!!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Enrage a graphic designer in three easy steps." Make it worse. Say, "I thought these fonts looked nice. I used them for my resume."

Description: Have Yourself Wow Christmas - Festive Introvert

Description: Simple white lettering on black background: "30 years later - we're still stupid and contagious." Turns out a certain songwriter was 30 years too early. But here we are now. Ah, the humanity!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "thornback". So turns out "spinster" is just for the young women; an unmarried woman over 26 (?!) used to be known as a thornback. Which - yeah, sure, ok.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "harmless drudge". "A writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the signification of words." Thanks Samuel Johnson!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Actually - no." Whatever it is - the answer is no.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "slightly above average". You're the world's okayest; you don't have to be top, you just have to be above the mean line. And y'know, half the world is below average, so you're doing OK.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Katie Porter's whiteboard stan account." When Katie Porter brings out the whiteboard, all those idiots better STFU. We stan.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Katie Porter's whiteboard stan account." When Katie Porter brings out the whiteboard, all those idiots better STFU. We stan.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "[internal screaming]". When you're bottling it all up and putting on your "this is fine" face but everything is just too much.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I'm not a robot". Can you click on all the crosswalks and mountains and bridges and chimneys? Congrats, AI won't get you. Today.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "#octothorpetag". See, it's funny because it relies on niche knowledge of obscure punctuation. OK, maybe that's in the eye of the beholder.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "[dissociating]". Sometimes you just need to be left alone to do what you do. Socially anxious? Introvert? Wear it with pride.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "ambivert". It sounds fancy, right? You're neither introvert nor extrovert; you're a charming balance of both. That's what we'll tell everyone. Yeah.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I just hate it when people". Ehhhh. Don't even need to finish the sentence, right? People. Just - ugh. Who said "Hell is other people"?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "tater tot hotdish". For Minnesotans and those who just wish they're from Minnesota - you decide if the hotdish is you.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "It's a grilled cheese kinda day." Some might say that it needs to be cold, grey, and wintery, but y'know, EVERY DAY is a grilled cheese kinda day if you want it to be. Because grilled cheese is the best.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "why would I finish my thought when I could have a new more exciting one". For the neurodiverse, the neurospicy, the easily distracted, the ADHD folks, and the - squirrel!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Biting my tongue." Because sometimes even when you have all the opinions, no words are the best words. Even when there's tea, there's a time to keep quiet.

Description: Figjam

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "certainty is not the same as accuracy". Because actually? All opinions are NOT created equal and if you deny science, you're just an idiot.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "You get a pardon! You get a pardon! Everybody gets a pardon!" Done lots of criming on behalf of TFG? No worries! The law doesn't apply to you if you're rich and white! Pardons for everyone!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "downvote". When you're generally just salty with the world. For curmudgeons and others who maybe don't have a lawn, but still want you to get off it.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "3 coffees, no lunch". When you've got adrenalin, caffeine, and the jitters - anything but a balanced meal. Protein, what's that?!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "recluse". Some of us were practicing our social distancing way before the pandemic came along, and some of us don't want to give up all our alone time. Sounds good to me.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I don't care about winning the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix". You might outrage your ballroom-loving mother by saying so, but it's strictly the truth.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "grumpy uncle". Is it all an act? Or are you TRULY grumpy? Maybe that's something known only to you.

Description: dont say bite me and then act all suprised

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "All panic, no disco." Whether it's usual social anxiety, pandemic stress, or apocalypse times, sometimes it's all we can manage.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "incorrigible". Maybe a parent or grandparent used to call you this? Wear it as a badge of honor, because you're shameless, irrepressible, and you won't back down.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Luddite". Don't show me your new-fangled Twitters. I'm happy with my typewriter.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Gee, that's a shame." The classic deadpan response for when you really could not care any less. Shucks.