Deadpan Socks

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "ES IST MIR WURST". German slang for "I don't care"; aka "Es ist mir egal". When you just couldn't care any less, and you don't care who knows it.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Vaxxed AF.." Because when you're bursting with antibodies why not tell everybody; you're doing your part for herd immunity with the added bonus that you're probably not going to die of covid. Yay.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "What a time to be alive and anxious." What's that cliche? That "may you live in interesting times" is an ancient curse? After the events of 2020 we may have some proof of that being true.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "IDK what's going on but it's a LOT." Look, no one can blame you. It IS a lot. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. Hopefully we'll get to the good part soon?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "IDK WHAT'S GOING ON BUT IT'S A LOT". Look, no one can blame you. It IS a lot. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. Hopefully we'll get to the good part soon?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I need to see a man about a dog." Yeah, it's a British euphemism, but maybe you just like dogs. No one needs to know which one it is.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Don't need a clock to know it's drama time." We all have that one OTT friend, right? Don't need a clock to know it's a drama time. They're gonna bring it, regardless. And we love them for it.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "PROBABLY HANGRY". Yeah. You're getting irritable, everyone and everything's annoying, and what is that NOISE?! Then you remember - it's 4 hours since breakfast, and you're hungry. That's it.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS". Feelings?! I have ALL of them. And maybe a few new ones that no one's even heard of before. Dramatic? Maybe a bit.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Ehhh, effort." Lemme guess - you can't even. You're too tired. For anything at all. Meet for coffee? Ehhh, effort. Go out for dinner? Ehhh, effort. Put on clothes? Ehhh, effort. I feel ya.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "My opinions change with new information." There's this ancient practice, largely forgotten in modern times, of learning new facts and then... adjusting one's stance. It's ground-breaking.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Do you mind if I have nachos during this?" Because it doesn't even matter what "this" is - a divorce appointment, a shower, raking leaves - it will be improved by nachos.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Your bitmoji is terrible." Because they all are. This is beyond dispute. Just stop.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "anxiety intensifies". There's just SO MUCH to make us stressed these days. Whether you're out in the world or sitting in a flaming kitchen with your coffee cup saying "this is fine". Eugh.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I want to be in the room where the snacks are." In these apocalypse times, we have modest ambitions. Forget where it happens; I want to be in the room where the snacks are. Click boom.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I have a lot of feelings." Feelings?! I have ALL of them. And maybe a few new ones that no one's even heard of before. Dramatic? Maybe a bit.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Es ist mir Wurst." German slang for "I don't care"; aka "Es ist mir egal". When you just couldn't care any less, and you don't care who knows it.

Description: his minimalist design showcases iconic braided hair and the bold statement "I'm very allergic to stupid people." Perfect for fans of gothic aesthetics and dark humor, it hints at a moody, mysterious character with a deadpan wit. Whether you're into sarcastic humor or love a spooky, quirky vibe, this design brings a touch of dark style to your collection. Ideal for fans of alternative fashion and spooky humor, this piece is available on a wide range of products.

Description: please hesitate to contact me

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "You're on mute." How many times have you had to say this to people this past year or so? In real life perhaps it's wishful thinking.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Going through the motions." If you're exhausted you're completely normal. It's been a helluva time. You're doing fine. Keep going.

Description: This is My Second Rodeo

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Everything bagels imply the existence of nothing bagels." Put them in the same category as the inconvenience store, and the sad hour. Makes you think, dunnit.

Description: I'm A Hoot - Funny Owl

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "socially awkward". Introverts and the bumbling unite! We can't all be slick and smooth and TBH the world would be boring if we were. Embrace your awkwardness :)

Description: In more ways than one.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "cat lady". It's kinda come full circle, hasn't it? Cat ladies used to be misunderstood and looked down upon, whereas now it's something to aspire to. Cat lady and proud.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I've never been sad eating tacos". Same goes for cupcakes, tortas, pretzels, and a few other fab foods. Because when the world is going down in flames, tacos can still make you happy.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "404: Gender not found." For gender-fluid and gender-queer theydies and gentlethems everywhere. Be your glorious self.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "geriatric millennial". Look, don't bristle at it; embrace it. There's nothing wrong with growing old and with all the damage those boomers are doing, you might be the last generation that gets to.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Can you speak up? I'm eavesdropping." Definitely tongue in cheek - or maybe not? If you're incurably curious and a complete gossip, may as well let people know.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "dilettante". Do you dabble here and there? Pick up this, then that? Banjo, then lino printing, then taxidermy? You might be a dilettante. Lean in.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "absolutely cream crackered". For when you're knackered, exhausted, ready to drop, almost dead, bone tired, sick of it all. And British.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I wish you well". You might mean this for real, or maybe it's the equivalent of "bless your heart" for the dude who ran into you on the ski slopes and now wants to sue you.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Full of pith and vinegar." Don't try me. I'm full of pith and vinegar. Find me on Twitter.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "You're terrible, Muriel." What did you do now? Did you just - ?! You're terrible, Muriel. Go back to Porpoise Spit.