Bright Red Rocket

Description: Here's Johnny! Is he a popular cartoonist whose ribald and surreal comics delight bad kids of all ages? Is he the award-winning author of violent graphic novels depicting aliens incarcerated on a jail-like planet? Perhaps so, but do not tell him this.

Description: Friendly T. Rex, the funnest of all dinosaurs, just wants to be friends! He will not bite you. He will not trample your home. And he will not bellow loudly to the skies as he lays to waste your town and everything you love. Not him, that would be some other dinosaur.

Description: Dorelda is the International Mascot of People Who Never Imagined Being on a Shirt, Ever. She has held this title for fourteen years.

Description: You just wouldn't, would you? I mean, she's given you so many chances, but you just don't get it. How dare you even wear this shirt.

Description: Burt is no one's favorite! Sure, he's a tiger, and therefore he should be a majestic beast. Though a big fellow, he smells terrible, and few people want to be around him.

Description: Little Perfidia has a pretty short fuse. Even the gift of ice cream does not guarantee an audience with her if she even gets a whiff of unsavoriness about you.

Description: The Lost Fairytales of Hans Christian Andersen tell of The Little Germaid, the girl who was crawling with bacteria and viruses. But they were friendly, so everything worked out OK.

Description: The perfect shirt to wear when your eyes spontaneously combust in their sockets.

Description: What is there to say? When they rub you on the head it's just the best.

Description: Such a distinguished gentleman. At least he dresses well when he comes to visit.

Description: Pink Bear has had it with you, and you had better knock it off now. There's no use maintaining your innocence.

Description: It's an unusual method of scrying, but this dapper gentlemen has figured out the Ancient Mystical Art of Donut Divination! Peer inside the Hole and see what will come to pass!

Description: Well, that was unfortunate. Next time you take your rocketship out for a quick spin, try to land it properly.

Description: If there's one thing a pirate knows by heart, it's the major precepts of Philosophy. You can't just run some philosophy by an old sea salt and not expect to get into a conversation about Wittgenstein or quaff some grog over Heidegger. It simply is not going to happen. Cozy up with some Hegel, Schlegel, and Begel and let a mariner guide your Philosophical Inquiry.

Description: This drawing was scientifically determined to be the absolutely most appealing and exciting design depicting a cat's head ever created by mankind. The studies prove it. 75% +/-12% of you reading this will find this cat face irresistible.

Description: Would you get a load of this guy? That cheatin' cowboy thinks he can swindle our dear little hamster into a game of poker he can't possibly win. Is booze a major factor? Sure looks like it.

Description: Little Perfidia has run headlong into the existential moment - what's next? No one knows, and she'll just have to find out as things unfold and as she responds to events around her. A lesson in philosophy is sometimes rough.

Description: The 37th president of the United States of America has an important message for you.

Description: Your Fairy Godfather is here! Totally untrustworthy and liable to do the absolutely wrong thing. What a comfort!

Description: This sleeping cat appears without endorsement from the National Nap Association. But she is nonetheless sleepy

Description: The Green Fairy alights! Time to make a hasty getaway.

Description: Not so much sad as world-weary, Rocket Steve, the jet-propelled rabbit, contemplates yet another tragedy in this life.

Description: Burt the tiger is especially pleased with his new vacuum cleaner! Makes a good snack! From the

Description: "Maybe it's because I'm so violent." Yes, dear young lady, perhaps that is the reason you find yourself alone so often. A Valentine's Day warning for us all.

Description: Where is this running cat going? I don't think even he knows, but man, is he doing it as fast as he can.

Description: What is it that is as heart-rending as a sad robot? This one will suffer long until he has rusted himself with his own tears. If only she would look his way!

Description: His most deadly weapon is that he's kind of cute. You may think you are safe, but when this vampipre sets his hypnotic gaze upon you, and you are lulled into accepting him as a "cute" thing, then you are lost to his thirst for blood.

Description: "It's Full of Stars!" Yes, Space Cat, your journey to the End of the Known Universe fills you with wonder and life-changing awe that you previously only thought possible under the influence of catnip.

Description: The Official 2019 logo for Taking Naps.

Description: No one would suspect a barnyard denizen of masterminding the crimes of this century. That's why Our Porcine Pal has remained undetected for so long - Happy New Year of the Pig!

Description: A tiny hamster offers his pathetic gift of love.