Bright Red Rocket

When the dark shadow of adventure calls, THE DUCK DETECTIVE can usually be found waddling in the middle of it! There's a reason why children and those who think like them love THE DUCK DETECTIVE and not just because he is a lucrative piece of intellectual property, because believe me, he's not! Here he is in a typical pose, stumbling around in the dark ineffectively forgetting to solve important crimes!

What does it say? How the hell should I know? Asemic text has no semantic value by definition. Sure is pretty though. I hope it does not say "Kill America" in some foreign language.

Gosh there are a lot of cats on this site. But this one is different. What an attitude! You better watch it, he could swipe your horse when you're not lookin'. He'll cheat at cards, drink your whiskey, and probably steal a pie off a windowsill when Old Widow Twankey's not looking. A bad hombre!

Uh oh. Look who's here. This does not look good. He does not look happy. What did you say to him?

Imagine the thrill of hurtling through the infinite reaches of space at millions of miles an hour! Turns out it's not that big a deal because without G forces you can't really tell. But don't tell this cat that! You will ruin the excitement!

Well, now! Who is this gentle flower-sniffing gentleman? Someone should tell him those lederhosen are supposed to connect at the bottom there. But I guess his paunch is making that impossible.

The Wild Jinx is seen here in the dense and moist jungle of the backyard. Stealth is her watchword, and her vivid yellow eyes watch her unfortunate prey (usually a fence lizard) as it innocently crawls across the majestic beast's gaze. Will it lose it's tail today?

Yet Another image of my favorite cat, my muse and constant companion. Your cat is nowhere near as good as this one, even though she doesn't do all that much except eat and put deep scratches on my back when she leaps up there.

From the award-winning Netflix Series comes this shirt, celebrating the lifelong friendship and superior moral values of Tippy "Schmendryck" Jackson and his li'l pal Snooty McDoldrums. Laff and love with the buddy cop duo the whole nation is talking about!

Our friend and God of Cinema Jean-Luc Godard once scrawled this on a placard - we think he was referring to Jean Vigo's "Zéro pour Conduit," a favorite of the French director's as well as a favorite amongst our own people here.

The greatest anime that never happened! Yes, finally the non-existent fans of the never-hit smash TV series "Gunvolter," which has never been made and does not appear in any TV schedule or on any streaming service, can wear gorgeous apparel featuring one of the characters who is not even intended to appear in this series that doesn't exist! At last!

It's a bee!

Wear the logo of the Black Death Metal band "Bloodfïstre." This dynamic two man team of Ülric Hjammerthrjob and Ümlaüt Ødinsblüt will blast you away with searing skull-crushing METAL!!! Perish beneath the unholy assault of soul-destroying METAL!!! Did I mention, METAL!!!

The Jinx Cat, in all her glory, brings a touch of class and a whiff of catnip to anyone's wardrobe.

We all make sacrifices when the muse strikes us, and this Tiny Hamster is ready to risk it all! Wear this when you, too, are giving it your all.

Cat Butt! No one wants it. We just have to face facts.

The Duck Detective, that famous mallard of the funny pages, gives his signature wisecrack that has endeared him to so many generations of fans and comics readers.

This hamster is gosh darned excited! So might you be if you wear him around enough!

What horror! When a cartoon mad scientist digs the graves of dead cartoon characters from the olden days and pieces them together to make... THE TERROR OF FREDENSTEIN!

One of the strongest demons in Satan's Legions of Hell, the Happicat has a deceptive appearance. Yes, it seems to be a contented beast, perhaps warm and plush. THAT IT IS, which is why the Happicat is even more devious! Perhaps it will, at a moment's notice, KILL you in a savage and bloody way? NO! That is proof of the even further deviousness to which the Happicat applies itself. Not much is known about the Happicat.

Tiger Lu was never really in control of the region over which he presided as local governor. Not that he tried, his hand was so lazy. So when it all went to ruin it was more of a gentle slide into disorganization. This is all detailed in the mildly popular comic "Dirigibles and Submersibles," available from the Naked Rabbit World Power Foundation.

This playful scamp was the cartoon mascot of the "Douleur Abdominale" Absinthe company from June 1889 until later in June that same year. Familiar to some, he was the avatar of that cottony feeling you get in your mouth and the sluggy, taffy-like crawl of your thoughts after a good night with a bottle of this stuff.

Yet another sleeping cat! Will wonders never cease? This one is like having a little sleepy cat sitting on your chest. Who does not want that? I dunno, maybe someone, but why are you even looking at this if you're that person?

It's a hard world for the little things.

Here you are! A V.I.P. like you must be quite used to getting "comped" in all the fanciest places. And while you are our guest nothing else will do but the finest libations, served by our Hamster Hostess. Why do you even want this on a shirt? I haven't the slightest idea.

Oh, you've seen this face before. The penultimate illustration to the secretly popular "Bad Cat's Alphabet," this face is the one that tells you there are some very pressing needs to which you are not attending. We cannot convey the sound to you with this design, but we are confident you hear it in your head anyway.

Poor little butterfly! No, let's face it, he deserves it, every sharp claws and tooth of it. That little bastard has been chewing through your cotton garments and now he and his little friend have laid eggs all over your stuff. Best to let kitty take care of this one.

This slinky beast thinks they have gotten away with it - whatever it is. This pose is definitely worrisome. It means something is quite possibly broken.

You are in trouble now. If this beast gets in this position, you can be assured that something in your immediate vicinity is going to feel those claws. Maybe a harmless insect, but maybe your own sinews!

"I Have No Idea What the Hell": The title says it all. I don't think there are very many people who DO know what the hell on a good day, but when they see this design, no one will know WHAT THE HELL for quite some time. You may be responsible for a whole lot of hell-not-knowing when you bust this bad boy either out on the fashion runway or the break room at your dead-end corporate job. What's going on? It seems a bit like Speed Racer, but it's kind of not, unless there was an episode in which Speed's head grew really large and resembled a cat's head. In which case not only would I like to see that episode, but I'd know for certain that the people who made it really wanted to show the world that even THEY did not know WHAT THE HELL.

The Littlest Dead Kid. Be his friend! Or else!

This wild cat has become your mild cat, the jungle beast tamed by his hunger for affection. Show this lonely beast a little tenderness!

Well, now that WAS a bit awkward, sex Li'l Perfidia, America's least loved cartoon character. She's hoping no one notices her blush and no one can tell she's just been thinking something quite naughty, and perhaps even perverted.

This cat has had enough! Maybe you have, too. So the perfect design for you is this testy feline who just can't take it anymore!

The fools! Do they not realize who they have messed with? Their jeering, mocking glances! Their yammering and muttering when they think you do not hear! Their scoffing at your scientific discoveries - new knowledge that could enlighten the world, but oh, no, the simpletons chuckle! You'll show them. You will show them all!

Li'l Perfidia greets her disappointments with a little twist of optimism. When everyone leaves you and you're desperate and lonely in this world, then call upon a defenseless pet to help you through tough times! They can't complain that much, and they sure are nice to squeeze.