Shorts
Description: This isn't the Car Clamp Club! It's the cast of Absolutely Fabulous! We've got Edina, Patsy, Saffie, Bubble, and even Gram! And of course what's a Patsy without champagne? Wear this design and you'll be the center of attention at any of the following events: Frankie Knuckles CD-ROM Dance Happening; The PR-PR Person's Awards Dinner of the Month Lunch; your local ISO Tank; Brick'n'Brack'n'Nick'n'Knack'n'Things; and court!
Description: I'm sorry, but those two pinks clearly look nothing alike, mama. My colors are BLUSH and BASHFUL. Don't you work me up now. You know what happens when you work me up, mama. Oh no. My sugars. My sugars, mama! Juice! I need my juice, mama! Mama! SIKE! I got you, mama! You should see yourself. Who's blush and bashful now? ::death drop:: :/
Description: Oh honey, what are we going to do with this hair? You say you didn't cut it yourself? Right. Must have been a mad scientist then. Ah well, I'm sure I can figure something out. Japanese hair straightening is a must. Leave-in conditioner might help, if you leave it in forever. And some hair dye for sure. I picture you as a firey red. WOAH! WOAH! OK. No fire. No fire. I get it. Jeez, lady. It's nothing to scream over. Not since I gave the Wolfman a mullet have I seen someone freak out like this. You're a feminist icon! Behave like one!
Description: Do you order up the sampler platter and snout those poppers like a truffle hunting sow? Do you send them back if they are not ooey and gooey enough? Do you want to see some stretch when you nibble? If you answered "That'll do, pig" to any of the preceding questions, congratulations! You're a poppers pig. Now stuff those jalapenos with cheese, batter 'em down, fry 'em up til they're golden brown, and pop 'em in your face hole while wearing this charming design as a bib! Only then will that do, pig.
Description: What do people want more than a new single from Beyoncé? A cute ginger! Which means NOW is the time to show off your gingercorn status! Kick up them hooves, throw on some apparel by Hoagiemouth and power on that Beyoncé fan cause that ginger mane is thirsty for freedom, henny!
Description: If you've used it, you've probably seen someone overusing it. Hell, you've probably seen someone laying in it. It's the dive bar trough! Sleek stainless steel. Sharp lines. Luxury! Usually smells of Amyl Nitrite for some reason. Guess there are a lot of VCRs to be cleaned in gay bars. Check out the hoagies. Cower in the corner and hide your hoagie away. The only rule at the trough is that you wiz with! That's whiz wit in hoagiemouth.
Description: Did you know that from a certain angle it looks like the William Penn statue on top of Philadelphia City Hall has its, erm, 10 ft. long hoagie out? Hoagiemouth knows! OK, that's actually just his outstretched hand striking a fierce pose, but gurl! See it for yourself. Stand somewhere north of City Hall and look toward the Gayborhood (mmhmm, I said the Gayborhood). Boom! Hoagie on a Sarcone's roll. Anyway, here you go. William Penn with his hoagie out for the world to see. Because Philly is what? HUNGRY.
