Description: If you've used it, you've probably seen someone overusing it. Hell, you've probably seen someone laying in it. It's the dive bar trough! Sleek stainless steel. Sharp lines. Luxury! Usually smells of Amyl Nitrite for some reason. Guess there are a lot of VCRs to be cleaned in gay bars. Check out the hoagies. Cower in the corner and hide your hoagie away. The only rule at the trough is that you wiz with! That's whiz wit in hoagiemouth.
Description: You've kikied with your girls over cheesecake. You've slept with their ex-husbands. Hell, even your children have slept with one another. I guess the only way to get closer now is to shop for condoms together! Dorothy and Blanche want the lambskins. But of course you want the ultra sensitive. In black. Leave it to Dorothy to flip out and call attention to the scene though. Ah well. She's got no one. And you have Miles. And he's tall. I bet you bought the black because you thought it would be slimming. Oh Rose. Dear, sweet, imbecilic Rose. Hand me that newspaper...
Description: Did you know that from a certain angle it looks like the William Penn statue on top of Philadelphia City Hall has its, erm, 10 ft. long hoagie out? Hoagiemouth knows! OK, that's actually just his outstretched hand striking a fierce pose, but gurl! See it for yourself. Stand somewhere north of City Hall and look toward the Gayborhood (mmhmm, I said the Gayborhood). Boom! Hoagie on a Sarcone's roll. Anyway, here you go. William Penn with his hoagie out for the world to see. Because Philly is what? HUNGRY.
Description: Girl, have you clocked Susan Saranwrap's cliffhangers? I haven't seen such busted man hooves since Sharia Law stomped that stage. Of course Susan's drag mother is Tara Nass, so cliffhangers must run in the family. For real though, I think I see mountain goats jumping around her feet. And are they filming a Ricola commercial on her big toe? No! It's a Hoveround commercial. Aww, I love old people! Oh! She's coming. Hi, Susan! You look great!
Description: Orange, white, naval, beach, barnacled buoys! They're the markers floating out in the water while you kiki on the beach, which is cool, I guess. However, they're even cooler in Missy Elliot songs! Sure, she actually sings "boys boys all types of boys," but we are making those puns WORK IT! Yes, it's worth it! Put your credit card down, flip it and reverse it so you can see those numbers while you order this design! Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod drac tiderc ruoy tup! Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod drac tiderc ruoy tup!
Description: Look, I don't know who you "Lords of Hell" think you are, but you're messing with the wrong 24 year-old actress playing a high school student! Besides, your cute little knife is no match for the hammer of Thor! That's right! Beat it! You're just lucky I gotta get these kids home before curfew.
Description: "I SEE ME!" Of course I'm in a million pieces now, so I see me all over. That's perfectly fine. If death becomes me and death becomes her, it'll certainly become you. Question is, are you wealthy enough to afford the elixir? ::Sigh:: Who am I fooling? What I need more than anything now is a broom and a dustpan. Unh!
Description: Oh Gabriel. Poor, dear Gabriel. Some tricks are meant to remain tricks. Here you are all "ENTER YOU! VOILA IT'S SHOWTIME!" when really you should be cowering in the corner wearing safety goggles to keep the you know what out of your eyes. That's just my two cents. Cute shirt though.
