Deadpan Magnets

This human does not support social interaction.

Simple white letters on black background: "I'd rather be in New Zealand." I mean, who wouldn't?! They got every landscape known to humans, AND Jacinda Ardern, AND they smacked covid every which way from Sunday. Go Kiwis. We envy you.

Simple white letters on black background: "It's a grilled cheese kinda day." Some might say that it needs to be cold, grey, and wintery, but y'know, EVERY DAY is a grilled cheese kinda day if you want it to be. Because grilled cheese is the best.

Simple white letters on black background: "I invented the question mark". No one could even ask questions before that! Just make exclamations! Because bragging's better when it's totally absurd and ridiculous.

Melville's classic anti-hero Bartleby is known for his catchphrase: "I would prefer not to". Whether you're tongue in cheek or serious, if the answer is NOPE and LEAVE ME ALONE, this is for you. Available in other colors.

Simple white letters on black background: "[inarticulate cursing]". Inarticulate cursing may not be the best response, but sometimes it's the only response. F%$#!!

Simple white letters on black background: "Bless your heart." Well bless your sweet heart, honey! Maybe you even think I'm being sincere.

Boots n cats n boots n cats: A quick and easy phrase for beatbox beginners. Say it fast and you'll be beatboxing in no time. A tongue in cheek design for music lovers and others who like wordplay. Available in other colors.

Simple white letters on black background: "Trump lost. Biden won. Wear a mask. Shut up." You can listen to Fox News, or you can care about truth - you can't have both. Time to rejoin reality, folks.

Simple white letters on black background: "I used to be cool". A story as old as time. Someday they'll change what 'it' is on you, too. Ah, being cool is for kids ... let 'em have it.

Simple white letters on black background: "[gay judgment]". Are any more words needed? Didn't think so.

Simple white letters on black background: "queso sparks joy". Don't let Marie Kondo clear the chips, queso, or salsa out of your house. If you don't feel happy yet, you probably haven't added enough cheese.

Simple white letters on black background: "I've never been sad eating tacos". Same goes for cupcakes, tortas, pretzels, and a few other fab foods. Because when the world is going down in flames, tacos can still make you happy.

Simple white letters on black background: "incorrigible". Maybe a parent or grandparent used to call you this? Wear it as a badge of honor, because you're shameless, irrepressible, and you won't back down.

Simple white letters on black background: "grumpy uncle". Is it all an act? Or are you TRULY grumpy? Maybe that's something known only to you.

"You're terrible Muriel" (retro pastel) - whether you're a jealous sister gloating over someone getting in trouble, or just want to remember an iconic 90s line, this could be for you. Available in other colors and styles.

Simple white letters on black background: "style icon". Nothing says "style icon" like simple white words on a black background. It's a blank canvas, ready for your fashionable imagination. Met Gala, here we come.

Simple white letters on black background: "a little miffed". When you're British and HIGHLY ANNOYED but this is all you can manage out loud.

This is my second rodeo is sarcasm sayings clothing merchandise, sarcastic quotes lover gift items. makes the perfect tee to sarcasm. Great gift for your father, mother, uncle, aunti, boy or girl. son, daughter, husband, wife or friend It's good for adults too. perfect for a birthday, graduation or any gifts giving ocasion

Simple white letters on black background: "Actually - no." Whatever it is - the answer is no.

Simple white letters on black background: "You can't cancel me, I'm already canceled." Well, for starters, "cancel culture" isn't a thing (beyond a right-wing scare word), but even if it was, I'm already canceled. Leave me alone.

Simple white letters on black background: "geriatric millennial". Look, don't bristle at it; embrace it. There's nothing wrong with growing old and with all the damage those boomers are doing, you might be the last generation that gets to.

Gothic white letters (blackletter): "geriatric millennial". Look, don't reject it; embrace it. There's nothing wrong with growing old and with the damage boomers are doing, you might be the last generation that gets to. Yay. Also available in black.

Gothic white letters (blackletter): "geriatric millennial". Look, don't reject it; embrace it. There's nothing wrong with growing old and with the damage boomers are doing, you might be the last generation that gets to. Yay. Also available in white.

Well howdy pardner, and dang it all, and yeehaw - how many cliches can we pack in here? Say it in your drawliest cowpoke voice, embrace the retro mod colors of pink and orange, and set off for the rodeo, you urban cowperson, you.

Simple white letters on black background: "recluse". Some of us were practicing our social distancing way before the pandemic came along, and some of us don't want to give up all our alone time. Sounds good to me.

Simple white letters on black background: "I don't care about winning the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix". You might outrage your ballroom-loving mother by saying so, but it's strictly the truth.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am out of bed. I have better things do, like nap.

Simple white letters on black background: "aspiring curmudgeon". I'd prefer you somewhere other than my lawn, you kids!

"You're terrible Muriel" (colors) - whether you're a jealous sister gloating over someone getting in trouble, or just want to remember an iconic 90s line, this could be for you. Available in other colors and styles.

Simple white letters on black background: "amateur". Please don't judge; I've never even been trained. On anything. Just let me be; I'm not a professional at life and I'm doing my best.

Simple white letters on black background: "Be Best". Ahhh, Melania. Announcing an anti-bullying campaign when you're married to the biggest bully on the planet. Was it irony? Was it a lack of self-awareness? Who knows? Be Best.

Simple white letters on black background: "Enrage a graphic designer in three easy steps." Make it worse. Say, "I thought these fonts looked nice. I used them for my resume."

Simple white letters on black background: "This is my excited face." Look, this is my excited face. This is as much expression as I get. Leave me alone.

This is my second rodeo

Simple white letters on black background: "geriatric millennial". Look, don't bristle at it; embrace it. There's nothing wrong with growing old and with all the damage those boomers are doing, you might be the last generation that gets to.