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Very plain black and white snark, sarcasm, and deadpan jokes. Find my other store, Planet Snark, for the same sardonic tone with a little more color.
Slowly orbiting Planet Snark

Bags

"before you judge me, understand that I do not care" in plain white letters - eh, apathy FTW! Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "before you judge me, understand that I do not care". Giving up is entirely underrated and sometimes it's the best thing to do. Eh, don't care.

Tags: anti, antisocial, awkward, before you judge me, deadpan
"bad at waking up, somehow also bad at going to sleep" in plain white letters - sigh Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "bad at waking up, somehow also bad at going to sleep". The sleep curse is real. Morning person? Nope. Night person? Not that either. Tired person? Constantly.

Tags: anxiety, anxious, asleep, bad at, coffee
"Ann Richards stan account" in plain white letters - because we stan a badass Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Ann Richards stan account". Ah, the good old days when Texas was blue and things worked for people and not big business. We stan a woman badass governor. Come back, Ann.

Tags: account, anti fascist, anti trump, antifa, democrat
"actually cake" in plain white letters - classic incognito Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "actually cake". Are you real, or are you cake? Ah, a baked good! No one can tell! Amazing!

Tags: absurd, absurdist, actually, best words, black white
"absolutely not" in plain white letters - because how about NO Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "absolutely not". How about no? When the answer is always "I would prefer not to" but you're blunt as hell. Definitely, totally, NOT. Do not want. Nope.

Tags: absolutely not, ambivert, anti, antisocial, anxiety
"a pleasure to have in class" in plain white letters - when you've always been Good Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "a pleasure to have in class". Remember those report cards you'd proudly bring home? Imagine going back to those simple days when the only thing you worried about was making sure the teacher liked you.

Tags: card, child, class, deadpan, gen x
"yearning for the mines" in plain white letters - memetastic Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "yearning for the mines". Child labor be damned, we need to dig.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, children, deadpan, humor
"Y'all don't know how socialism works and it shows." in plain white letters Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Y'all don't know how socialism works and it shows." If you're going to demonize something at least know what it means. Make ignorance embarrassing again.

Tags: activism, activist, anti fascist, anti trump, antifa
"will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person" in plain white letters - know thyself Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person". Self-awareness matters. Everyone's lucky you didn't just stay home.

Tags: adhd, ambivert, anti, antisocial, anxiety
"when cruelty becomes normal, empathy seems radical" in plain white letters - resist Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "when cruelty becomes normal, empathy seems radical". These are ridiculous and dangerous times, but joy, kindness, acceptance, and empathy are acts of vital resistance. The arc of the universe bends towards justice.

Tags: activism, activist, anti trump, antifa, compassion
"well, shee-it" in plain white letters - what is it NOW?! Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "well, shee-it". We're all pretty numb these days and resigned to everything getting worse forever until the world falls into the sun. Or something.

Tags: anxiety, anxious, dammit, dang, depressed
"remember when Monday was the worst day? now it's all of them" in plain white letters Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "remember when Monday was the worst day? now it's all of them" - the Sunday scaries are now for every day of the week because - well - *gestures broadly*

Tags: black, cynical, dark, dumpster, everything sucks
"ungovernable swamp witch" in plain white letters - just need the hat (and the cat) Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "ungovernable swamp witch". Lean into your true identity. Get the hat, and the cat, and the house away from all the people. Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's menopause.

Tags: become, cat, dont care, feminism, hat
"thoughts & prayers" in plain white letters - when you got nothing left to give Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "thoughts & prayers". I ain't listening. I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened.

Tags: black, cynical, dark, deadpan, humor
there is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "there is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists" - legendary quote by a Yosemite National Park ranger. And yeah, we all know it. We've met some of them.

Tags: absurd, bears, deadpan, dumbest, national park
"the sensible one" in plain white letters - there's one in every group Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "the sensible one". You've probably been called "sensible" your whole life, right? May as well tell the world.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, deadpan, family, good
"opportunivore" in plain white letters - for little snacks who like little snacks Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "opportunivore". Maybe you sample the kids' Halloween candy. Maybe you'll clean up all the leftovers. Maybe you're just never without a little snack. Take them opportunities when you can.

Tags: absurd, cynical, deadpan, food, humor
"life update: worse" in plain white letters - I mean, is ANYTHING getting better?! Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "life update: worse". At least the dumpster wasn't on fire before, which is more than you can say now. Maybe this should go in this year's family Christmas letter.

Tags: adhd, anti, antisocial, anxiety, anxious
"kinda busy today, it's my dog's quinceanera" in plain white letters - if you can't celebrate, what can you do?! Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "kinda busy today, it's my dog's quinceanera". You can come, I guess? Make sure to bring a gift.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, black white, busy, deadpan
"subversive but with integrity" in plain white letters - to thine own self be true Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "subversive but with integrity". When you want to disrupt, but not destroy. There are limits, after all.

Tags: activism, activist, anti fascist, anti trump, antifa
"standing by to overreact" in plain white letters - someone's gotta Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "standing by to overreact". Maybe you're dramatic, maybe it's your anxiety (por que no los dos?) - but an overreaction (and possibly some overthinking) is definitely on the cards.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, adhd, anxiety, anxious
"problem child" in plain white letters - when it started in the cradle Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "problem child". When it started in the cradle and just... continued to the present day. Wear it with pride.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, child, deadpan, family
"pretty didapponging" in plain white letters - niche memes FTW! Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "pretty didapponging". Ah, Daniel S and his incredible memelicious review. After all, it arrive with the USB part broken off. That IS pretty didapponging.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, daniel s, deadpan, disappointing
"not not gay" in plain white letters - sometimes double negatives are illuminating Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "not not gay". Who's asking?

Tags: absurd, absurdist, deadpan, diversity, not not
"la derecha oprime, la izquierda libera" in plain white letters - just truth Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "la derecha oprime, la izquierda libera". The right oppresses, the left liberates. Always thus and ever thus shall be.

Tags: activism, activist, anti fascist, anti trump, antifa
"kindness is punk" in plain white letters - go on, be nice, you rebel you Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "kindness is punk". Choose empathy, sincerity, and compassion in this dumpster fire of a world. That's the true rebellion.

Tags: best words fun, black white, comedy, empathy, funny
"just here for the banter" in plain white letters - cos it's fun, innit Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "just here for the banter". Got yer mates, go for a coupla drinks, maybe a cheeky pint or two, fun, innit?

Tags: absurd, banter, cheeky, dark, deadpan
"INSECURITY" in plain white letters - may as well let the world know Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "INSECURITY". Everyone needs an insecurity guard.

Tags: absurd, anxiety, black, dark, deadpan
"I would welcome an alien invasion" in plain white letters - Jesus send the flood (or the aliens) Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I would welcome an alien invasion". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and everything is absurd, and also terrible, but kind of funny? In the bleakest possible way, of course.

Tags: alien, black, dark, deadpan, humor
"I came, I saw, I felt awkward, I left" in plain white letters - when it's too peopley ERRYWHERE Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I came, I saw, I felt awkward, I left" in plain white letters - when socializing is torture or at the very least a source of great anxiety. We can't all be extroverts, and some of us can't even be ambiverts. Let's go home.

Tags: adhd, ambivert, anti, antisocial, anxiety
"go on, have a panic attack - you've earned it" in plain white letters - it's all we have left Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "go on, have a panic attack - you've earned it". Because our anxiety is all we have left and we'll hang on to it, thank you very much.

Tags: anti, antisocial, anxious, attack, awkward
"brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes" in plain white letters - ask him who killed democracy Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and the liars are out in force, and we can't have nice things. Like a functioning democracy. Resist.

Tags: 20 minutes, absurd, anti trump, black, dark
"influencer - follow me toward bad decisions" in plain white letters - wellness, schmellness Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "influencer - follow me toward bad decisions". All these thin white girls with their damn ring lights - we don't need any more influencers in perfect spaces. Let's go make some questionable decisions and I'll lead the way.

Tags: anti, bad decisions, black, cynical, dark
"creature of the night" in plain white letters - for the eternally nocturnal Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "creature of the night". When you like dark, and black, and staying up until dawn, and you might be a bat, or at very least a possum. Party starts at midnight? Sweet.

Tags: best words, black, black white, creature, dark
"at capacity" in plain white letters - because the overwhelm is terminal at this point Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "at capacity". There's just constant admin for everything, everyone needs you to download a damn app, nothing works, the world is a dumpster fire. How can you NOT be at capacity, like, all the time?!

Tags: ambivert, asd, capacity, exhausted, gen z
"I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese" in plain white letters - what? it's totally understandable Bag
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese". Well, it IS one of the most glorious things in human history. As well as being comfort food. And downright delicious.

Tags: absurd, absurdist, cynical, deadpan, food

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