TheBestWords

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person". Self-awareness matters. Everyone's lucky you didn't just stay home.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "when cruelty becomes normal, empathy seems radical". These are ridiculous and dangerous times, but joy, kindness, acceptance, and empathy are acts of vital resistance. The arc of the universe bends towards justice.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "well, shee-it". We're all pretty numb these days and resigned to everything getting worse forever until the world falls into the sun. Or something.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "remember when Monday was the worst day? now it's all of them" - the Sunday scaries are now for every day of the week because - well - *gestures broadly*

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "ungovernable swamp witch". Lean into your true identity. Get the hat, and the cat, and the house away from all the people. Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's menopause.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "thoughts & prayers". I ain't listening. I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "there is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists" - legendary quote by a Yosemite National Park ranger. And yeah, we all know it. We've met some of them.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "the sensible one". You've probably been called "sensible" your whole life, right? May as well tell the world.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "opportunivore". Maybe you sample the kids' Halloween candy. Maybe you'll clean up all the leftovers. Maybe you're just never without a little snack. Take them opportunities when you can.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "life update: worse". At least the dumpster wasn't on fire before, which is more than you can say now. Maybe this should go in this year's family Christmas letter.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "kinda busy today, it's my dog's quinceanera". You can come, I guess? Make sure to bring a gift.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "subversive but with integrity". When you want to disrupt, but not destroy. There are limits, after all.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "standing by to overreact". Maybe you're dramatic, maybe it's your anxiety (por que no los dos?) - but an overreaction (and possibly some overthinking) is definitely on the cards.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "problem child". When it started in the cradle and just... continued to the present day. Wear it with pride.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "pretty didapponging". Ah, Daniel S and his incredible memelicious review. After all, it arrive with the USB part broken off. That IS pretty didapponging.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "not not gay". Who's asking?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "la derecha oprime, la izquierda libera". The right oppresses, the left liberates. Always thus and ever thus shall be.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "kindness is punk". Choose empathy, sincerity, and compassion in this dumpster fire of a world. That's the true rebellion.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "just here for the banter". Got yer mates, go for a coupla drinks, maybe a cheeky pint or two, fun, innit?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "INSECURITY". Everyone needs an insecurity guard.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I would welcome an alien invasion". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and everything is absurd, and also terrible, but kind of funny? In the bleakest possible way, of course.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I came, I saw, I felt awkward, I left" in plain white letters - when socializing is torture or at the very least a source of great anxiety. We can't all be extroverts, and some of us can't even be ambiverts. Let's go home.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "go on, have a panic attack - you've earned it". Because our anxiety is all we have left and we'll hang on to it, thank you very much.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and the liars are out in force, and we can't have nice things. Like a functioning democracy. Resist.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "influencer - follow me toward bad decisions". All these thin white girls with their damn ring lights - we don't need any more influencers in perfect spaces. Let's go make some questionable decisions and I'll lead the way.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "creature of the night". When you like dark, and black, and staying up until dawn, and you might be a bat, or at very least a possum. Party starts at midnight? Sweet.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "at capacity". There's just constant admin for everything, everyone needs you to download a damn app, nothing works, the world is a dumpster fire. How can you NOT be at capacity, like, all the time?!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese". Well, it IS one of the most glorious things in human history. As well as being comfort food. And downright delicious.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: now smoking MAGA". Years sober and on the "speak truth" wagon, Hunter is the year's most surprising hero. We stan.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "are we absolutely sure that we're meant to be awake in the winter?" Surely we're a hibernating species. Eat a lot of food, burrow in snug, sleep all winter, wake in the spring. Sounds better than a commute.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: Darker Brandon". Savage comebacks to all the lame MAGA insults, self-deprecating wit, EQ, self-awareness, a sense of justice. Nothing not to like here. Let's go, Hunter.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "nothing is more American than opposing a tyrant". A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. Quite.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "it's my first day". Screwed up? Need to give someone a charming smile and an excuse? Sorry, it's my first day!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "god continues to hunt me for sport". Maybe you can accompany this with a wry smile or a hollow laugh. This truly is the dumbest timeline ever.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "fueled by Schadenfreude". Sometimes mean, but - isn't it SATISFYING to see horrible people get their comeuppance? One obituary in particular will be very welcome.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "don't be sad, rage is more effective". We're going to hell in a handbasket but we need your rage against injustice more than we need your apathy or your despair. Resist.