Magnets
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "subversive but with integrity". When you want to disrupt, but not destroy. There are limits, after all.
"subversive but with integrity" in plain white letters - to thine own self be true Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "standing by to overreact". Maybe you're dramatic, maybe it's your anxiety (por que no los dos?) - but an overreaction (and possibly some overthinking) is definitely on the cards.
"standing by to overreact" in plain white letters - someone's gotta Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "problem child". When it started in the cradle and just... continued to the present day. Wear it with pride.
"problem child" in plain white letters - when it started in the cradle Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
"not not gay" in plain white letters - sometimes double negatives are illuminating Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "la derecha oprime, la izquierda libera". The right oppresses, the left liberates. Always thus and ever thus shall be.
"la derecha oprime, la izquierda libera" in plain white letters - just truth Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "kindness is punk". Choose empathy, sincerity, and compassion in this dumpster fire of a world. That's the true rebellion.
"kindness is punk" in plain white letters - go on, be nice, you rebel you Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "just here for the banter". Got yer mates, go for a coupla drinks, maybe a cheeky pint or two, fun, innit?
"just here for the banter" in plain white letters - cos it's fun, innit Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "INSECURITY". Everyone needs an insecurity guard.
"INSECURITY" in plain white letters - may as well let the world know Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I would welcome an alien invasion". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and everything is absurd, and also terrible, but kind of funny? In the bleakest possible way, of course.
"I would welcome an alien invasion" in plain white letters - Jesus send the flood (or the aliens) Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I came, I saw, I felt awkward, I left" in plain white letters - when socializing is torture or at the very least a source of great anxiety. We can't all be extroverts, and some of us can't even be ambiverts. Let's go home.
"I came, I saw, I felt awkward, I left" in plain white letters - when it's too peopley ERRYWHERE Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "go on, have a panic attack - you've earned it". Because our anxiety is all we have left and we'll hang on to it, thank you very much.
"go on, have a panic attack - you've earned it" in plain white letters - it's all we have left Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and the liars are out in force, and we can't have nice things. Like a functioning democracy. Resist.
"brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes" in plain white letters - ask him who killed democracy Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "influencer - follow me toward bad decisions". All these thin white girls with their damn ring lights - we don't need any more influencers in perfect spaces. Let's go make some questionable decisions and I'll lead the way.
"influencer - follow me toward bad decisions" in plain white letters - wellness, schmellness Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "creature of the night". When you like dark, and black, and staying up until dawn, and you might be a bat, or at very least a possum. Party starts at midnight? Sweet.
"creature of the night" in plain white letters - for the eternally nocturnal Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "at capacity". There's just constant admin for everything, everyone needs you to download a damn app, nothing works, the world is a dumpster fire. How can you NOT be at capacity, like, all the time?!
"at capacity" in plain white letters - because the overwhelm is terminal at this point Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese". Well, it IS one of the most glorious things in human history. As well as being comfort food. And downright delicious.
"I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese" in plain white letters - what? it's totally understandable Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: now smoking MAGA". Years sober and on the "speak truth" wagon, Hunter is the year's most surprising hero. We stan.
"Hunter Biden: now smoking MAGA" in plain white letters - the man's on fire Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: Darker Brandon". Savage comebacks to all the lame MAGA insults, self-deprecating wit, EQ, self-awareness, a sense of justice. Nothing not to like here. Let's go, Hunter.
"Hunter Biden: Darker Brandon" in plain white letters - this guy is savage, in the best possible way Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "nothing is more American than opposing a tyrant". A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. Quite.
"nothing is more American than opposing a tyrant" in plain white letters - ask King George Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "it's my first day". Screwed up? Need to give someone a charming smile and an excuse? Sorry, it's my first day!
"it's my first day" in plain white letters - when you need some extra understanding Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "god continues to hunt me for sport". Maybe you can accompany this with a wry smile or a hollow laugh. This truly is the dumbest timeline ever.
"god continues to hunt me for sport" in plain white letters - it really does feel intentional sometimes Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "fueled by Schadenfreude". Sometimes mean, but - isn't it SATISFYING to see horrible people get their comeuppance? One obituary in particular will be very welcome.
"fueled by Schadenfreude" in plain white letters - anything it takes to keep you going Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "don't be sad, rage is more effective". We're going to hell in a handbasket but we need your rage against injustice more than we need your apathy or your despair. Resist.
"don't be sad, rage is more effective" in plain white letters - it's all we can afford in this economy Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "difficult woman". Sigh. Witches, heretics, shrill, hysterical, emotional, overly sensitive, dramatic, bossy, bitchy, aggressive, demanding... sound familiar? Maybe you just take no shit.
"difficult woman" in plain white letters - in another era they'd have burned us as witches Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "consistently inconsistent". You may be flaky, and unpredictable, and gloriously or annoyingly unreliable, but at least you're consistent about it.
"consistently inconsistent" in plain white letters - when you can be relied upon for JUST ONE THING Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Be Worst". Ahhh, Melania. Announcing an anti-bullying campaign when you're married to the biggest bully on the planet. Was it irony? Was it a lack of self-awareness? Who knows? Be Best.
"Be Worst" in plain white letters - let's not pretend any more, shall we? Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "about to have a meltdown, as a little treat". We can't afford vacations or medical care, so let's just melt down. It will be cathartic, if nothing else. Oh, the humanity.
"about to have a meltdown, as a little treat" in plain white letters - it's all we can afford in this economy Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "28th Amendment: no treasonous fucking bastards". Sometimes the Constitution needs an update and we need one right now to save democracy and the republic. If we can keep it.
"28th Amendment: no treasonous fucking bastards" in plain white letters - because it's well past due Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "the people banning books are never the good guys". Weird; all that shouting about freedom but then bans all over the place. It's kinda like they're hypocrites who only care about themselves. Huh.
"the people banning books are never the good guys" in plain white letters - I mean Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "thank you for contacting the abyss, your scream is very important to us". Take a number and stand in line and wait for your turn to have an existential crisis.
"thank you for contacting the abyss, your scream is very important to us" in plain white letters Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "terminally online". For the insomniacs, the doomscrollers, the fatalists among us. And just those who know the most obscure memes.
"terminally online" in plain white letters - doomscrollers unite Magnet
$3.75 $4.75
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "technophobe". Don't come at me with your apps and your authenticator codes and your passkeys and whatnot. While you're at it, get off my lawn.
"technophobe" in plain white letters - for Luddites and the generally crabby Magnet
$3.75 $4.75