TheBestWords

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and the liars are out in force, and we can't have nice things. Like a functioning democracy. Resist.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "influencer - follow me toward bad decisions". All these thin white girls with their damn ring lights - we don't need any more influencers in perfect spaces. Let's go make some questionable decisions and I'll lead the way.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "creature of the night". When you like dark, and black, and staying up until dawn, and you might be a bat, or at very least a possum. Party starts at midnight? Sweet.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "at capacity". There's just constant admin for everything, everyone needs you to download a damn app, nothing works, the world is a dumpster fire. How can you NOT be at capacity, like, all the time?!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese". Well, it IS one of the most glorious things in human history. As well as being comfort food. And downright delicious.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: now smoking MAGA". Years sober and on the "speak truth" wagon, Hunter is the year's most surprising hero. We stan.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "are we absolutely sure that we're meant to be awake in the winter?" Surely we're a hibernating species. Eat a lot of food, burrow in snug, sleep all winter, wake in the spring. Sounds better than a commute.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: Darker Brandon". Savage comebacks to all the lame MAGA insults, self-deprecating wit, EQ, self-awareness, a sense of justice. Nothing not to like here. Let's go, Hunter.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "nothing is more American than opposing a tyrant". A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. Quite.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "it's my first day". Screwed up? Need to give someone a charming smile and an excuse? Sorry, it's my first day!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "god continues to hunt me for sport". Maybe you can accompany this with a wry smile or a hollow laugh. This truly is the dumbest timeline ever.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "fueled by Schadenfreude". Sometimes mean, but - isn't it SATISFYING to see horrible people get their comeuppance? One obituary in particular will be very welcome.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "don't be sad, rage is more effective". We're going to hell in a handbasket but we need your rage against injustice more than we need your apathy or your despair. Resist.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "difficult woman". Sigh. Witches, heretics, shrill, hysterical, emotional, overly sensitive, dramatic, bossy, bitchy, aggressive, demanding... sound familiar? Maybe you just take no shit.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "consistently inconsistent". You may be flaky, and unpredictable, and gloriously or annoyingly unreliable, but at least you're consistent about it.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "anti-influencer". They're a scourge, aren't they? Live life on your own terms.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Be Worst". Ahhh, Melania. Announcing an anti-bullying campaign when you're married to the biggest bully on the planet. Was it irony? Was it a lack of self-awareness? Who knows? Be Best.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "about to have a meltdown, as a little treat". We can't afford vacations or medical care, so let's just melt down. It will be cathartic, if nothing else. Oh, the humanity.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "28th Amendment: no treasonous fucking bastards". Sometimes the Constitution needs an update and we need one right now to save democracy and the republic. If we can keep it.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "0% interest". See, it's a pun, because it's like for a great loan rate, but it could mean you're bored by everything. Yeah. Funny.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "the people banning books are never the good guys". Weird; all that shouting about freedom but then bans all over the place. It's kinda like they're hypocrites who only care about themselves. Huh.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "thank you for contacting the abyss, your scream is very important to us". Take a number and stand in line and wait for your turn to have an existential crisis.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "terminally online". For the insomniacs, the doomscrollers, the fatalists among us. And just those who know the most obscure memes.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "technophobe". Don't come at me with your apps and your authenticator codes and your passkeys and whatnot. While you're at it, get off my lawn.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "middle child". Yeah, eldest daughters have their own issues but middle children are like Gen X. Full of issues and constantly forgotten.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "not classified, just sensitive". And who isn't, amirite?

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "mea culpa". My bad. I fucked up. But fancy like.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "lower your expectations". However low you thought the bar was, go lower. Cynicism may be our only hope now.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "spent all day doing side quests". Sometimes that's just by far the more interesting choice. Don't need to advance the main game all the dang time.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "spending a year dead for sanity reasons". Wouldn't it be bliss? No waking to new horrors - not having to listing to his stupid voice - just quiet slumbers for a year. Sanity, indeed.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "positive feedback only please". La la la, can't hear you. Floating around in a bubble of denial. Everything is rosy and full of unicorns. Tell me I'm pretty.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "ngl kinda a fan of this pope". Pope Leo, eh? Who saw THAT coming?! Seems like he's ready to speak some truth to power and piss off all the right people. Don't have to be religious to admire that.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "normalize booing in the workplace". Some people just have it coming. Why do we gotta be tactful and diplomatic? Why can't we let loose with a boo? Maybe even a hiss. Would liven up every meeting.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "neurospicy". We celebrate our differences around here, so why not slap on a label and call it a day? Life is better with a little spice.

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Mom, I AM a rich man - Cher". Her mother told her to "marry a rich man." And the answer is legendary. Sisters can do it for themselves!

Description: Simple white letters on black background: "make ignorance embarrassing again". No, science doesn't change because of your "opinion." No, opinions aren't for facts, they're about whether you like coffee or not. Get yourself some science.