Pins
Description: Simple white letters on black background: "brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes". Cos we're in the dumbest timeline, and the liars are out in force, and we can't have nice things. Like a functioning democracy. Resist.
"brb, gotta go talk to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes" in plain white letters - ask him who killed democracy Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "influencer - follow me toward bad decisions". All these thin white girls with their damn ring lights - we don't need any more influencers in perfect spaces. Let's go make some questionable decisions and I'll lead the way.
"influencer - follow me toward bad decisions" in plain white letters - wellness, schmellness Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "creature of the night". When you like dark, and black, and staying up until dawn, and you might be a bat, or at very least a possum. Party starts at midnight? Sweet.
"creature of the night" in plain white letters - for the eternally nocturnal Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "at capacity". There's just constant admin for everything, everyone needs you to download a damn app, nothing works, the world is a dumpster fire. How can you NOT be at capacity, like, all the time?!
"at capacity" in plain white letters - because the overwhelm is terminal at this point Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese". Well, it IS one of the most glorious things in human history. As well as being comfort food. And downright delicious.
"I can't stop thinking about grilled cheese" in plain white letters - what? it's totally understandable Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: now smoking MAGA". Years sober and on the "speak truth" wagon, Hunter is the year's most surprising hero. We stan.
"Hunter Biden: now smoking MAGA" in plain white letters - the man's on fire Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "are we absolutely sure that we're meant to be awake in the winter?" Surely we're a hibernating species. Eat a lot of food, burrow in snug, sleep all winter, wake in the spring. Sounds better than a commute.
"are we absolutely sure that we're meant to be awake in the winter?" in plain white letters - please just let me hibernate Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Hunter Biden: Darker Brandon". Savage comebacks to all the lame MAGA insults, self-deprecating wit, EQ, self-awareness, a sense of justice. Nothing not to like here. Let's go, Hunter.
"Hunter Biden: Darker Brandon" in plain white letters - this guy is savage, in the best possible way Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "nothing is more American than opposing a tyrant". A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. Quite.
"nothing is more American than opposing a tyrant" in plain white letters - ask King George Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "it's my first day". Screwed up? Need to give someone a charming smile and an excuse? Sorry, it's my first day!
"it's my first day" in plain white letters - when you need some extra understanding Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "god continues to hunt me for sport". Maybe you can accompany this with a wry smile or a hollow laugh. This truly is the dumbest timeline ever.
"god continues to hunt me for sport" in plain white letters - it really does feel intentional sometimes Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "fueled by Schadenfreude". Sometimes mean, but - isn't it SATISFYING to see horrible people get their comeuppance? One obituary in particular will be very welcome.
"fueled by Schadenfreude" in plain white letters - anything it takes to keep you going Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "don't be sad, rage is more effective". We're going to hell in a handbasket but we need your rage against injustice more than we need your apathy or your despair. Resist.
"don't be sad, rage is more effective" in plain white letters - it's all we can afford in this economy Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "difficult woman". Sigh. Witches, heretics, shrill, hysterical, emotional, overly sensitive, dramatic, bossy, bitchy, aggressive, demanding... sound familiar? Maybe you just take no shit.
"difficult woman" in plain white letters - in another era they'd have burned us as witches Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "consistently inconsistent". You may be flaky, and unpredictable, and gloriously or annoyingly unreliable, but at least you're consistent about it.
"consistently inconsistent" in plain white letters - when you can be relied upon for JUST ONE THING Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "anti-influencer". They're a scourge, aren't they? Live life on your own terms.
"anti-influencer" in plain white letters - for the contrary Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Be Worst". Ahhh, Melania. Announcing an anti-bullying campaign when you're married to the biggest bully on the planet. Was it irony? Was it a lack of self-awareness? Who knows? Be Best.
"Be Worst" in plain white letters - let's not pretend any more, shall we? Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "about to have a meltdown, as a little treat". We can't afford vacations or medical care, so let's just melt down. It will be cathartic, if nothing else. Oh, the humanity.
"about to have a meltdown, as a little treat" in plain white letters - it's all we can afford in this economy Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "28th Amendment: no treasonous fucking bastards". Sometimes the Constitution needs an update and we need one right now to save democracy and the republic. If we can keep it.
"28th Amendment: no treasonous fucking bastards" in plain white letters - because it's well past due Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "0% interest". See, it's a pun, because it's like for a great loan rate, but it could mean you're bored by everything. Yeah. Funny.
"0% interest" in plain white letters - just terminally bored Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "the people banning books are never the good guys". Weird; all that shouting about freedom but then bans all over the place. It's kinda like they're hypocrites who only care about themselves. Huh.
"the people banning books are never the good guys" in plain white letters - I mean Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "thank you for contacting the abyss, your scream is very important to us". Take a number and stand in line and wait for your turn to have an existential crisis.
"thank you for contacting the abyss, your scream is very important to us" in plain white letters Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "terminally online". For the insomniacs, the doomscrollers, the fatalists among us. And just those who know the most obscure memes.
"terminally online" in plain white letters - doomscrollers unite Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "technophobe". Don't come at me with your apps and your authenticator codes and your passkeys and whatnot. While you're at it, get off my lawn.
"technophobe" in plain white letters - for Luddites and the generally crabby Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "middle child". Yeah, eldest daughters have their own issues but middle children are like Gen X. Full of issues and constantly forgotten.
"middle child" in plain white letters - everyone knows what that means Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "not classified, just sensitive". And who isn't, amirite?
"not classified, just sensitive" in plain white letters - careful handling may be required Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "lower your expectations". However low you thought the bar was, go lower. Cynicism may be our only hope now.
"lower your expectations" in plain white letters - get used to disappointment Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "spent all day doing side quests". Sometimes that's just by far the more interesting choice. Don't need to advance the main game all the dang time.
"spent all day doing side quests" in plain white letters - it's not my fault, there was a dog Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "spending a year dead for sanity reasons". Wouldn't it be bliss? No waking to new horrors - not having to listing to his stupid voice - just quiet slumbers for a year. Sanity, indeed.
"spending a year dead for sanity reasons" in plain white letters - it's the best choice really Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "positive feedback only please". La la la, can't hear you. Floating around in a bubble of denial. Everything is rosy and full of unicorns. Tell me I'm pretty.
"positive feedback only please" in plain white letters - it's worth a try Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "ngl kinda a fan of this pope". Pope Leo, eh? Who saw THAT coming?! Seems like he's ready to speak some truth to power and piss off all the right people. Don't have to be religious to admire that.
"ngl kinda a fan of this pope" in plain white letters - he's annoying all the right people Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "normalize booing in the workplace". Some people just have it coming. Why do we gotta be tactful and diplomatic? Why can't we let loose with a boo? Maybe even a hiss. Would liven up every meeting.
"normalize booing in the workplace" in plain white letters - when you're out of filters Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "Mom, I AM a rich man - Cher". Her mother told her to "marry a rich man." And the answer is legendary. Sisters can do it for themselves!
"Mom, I AM a rich man - Cher" in plain white letters - yass queen Pin
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Description: Simple white letters on black background: "make ignorance embarrassing again". No, science doesn't change because of your "opinion." No, opinions aren't for facts, they're about whether you like coffee or not. Get yourself some science.
"make ignorance embarrassing again" in plain white letters - FFS people be DUMB Pin
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