Deadpan Hoodies

Simple white letters on black background: "Going through some things." Be kind. I'm going through some things. Some of them aren't even my fault.

Simple white letters on black background: "If you see someone with donuts, call me." Do you prefer bear claws, crullers, plain old cake, simple glazed, classic sprinkles, or those fancy ones with the bacon bits and unicorn farts? Any will do.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just had tea or am on my way to get tea." Maybe you're British; maybe you're an Aussie grandpa about to put the kettle on and get out the biscuit tin. But it's time for a cuppa tea.

Simple white letters on black background: "I'D RATHER BE AT BRUNCH". Well, who wouldn't?! Chicken and waffles. Bottomless mimosas. Eggs benedict or pancakes or French toast or bacon or - well. You get the picture. Brunch is life.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just eaten bacon or am on my way to get bacon." Life is a never-ending parade of bacon and some of us like it like that. Tasty salted pig parts; nom nom.

Simple white letters on black background: "How about no." Because you may as well get ahead of the question, amirite? The answer's more likely to be "no" than anything else so manage expectations up front.

Simple white letters on black background: "Going through a stage." No one has to know how long this particular stage is. A whole lifetime can be a stage, right?! You do you. Introvert, extrovert, ambivert, or just "Ehhh, people."

Simple white letters on black background: "Going through a stage." No one has to know how long this particular stage is. A whole lifetime can be a stage, right?! You do you. Introvert, extrovert, ambivert, or just "Ehhh, people."

Simple white letters on black background: "Same panic different disco." Move house - welcome a new year - start a new job - it might seem good at first, but you've always brought yourself along. Same panic, different disco.

This is My Second Rodeo

"If you wanna be a cowgirl, you're gonna need a horse" in pink and orange western or saloon style letters. Cowgirls everywhere have to get themselves kitted out, so grab your boots and your hat and your lasso and your horse.

Simple white letters on black background: "I'D RATHER BE AT BRUNCH". Well, who wouldn't?! Chicken and waffles. Bottomless mimosas. Eggs benedict or pancakes or French toast or bacon or - well. You get the picture. Brunch is life.

Simple white letters on black background: "I would have replied but I didn't want to." Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta leave people on read. Because replying is just too much effort.

Simple white letters on black background: "I have just eaten tacos or am on my way to get tacos." Are they hipster or are they simply classic? Doesn't matter; tacos are just the best. Well, all Tex Mex is pretty aces; that's just facts.

Simple white letters on black background: "I was an honor student - I don't know what happened". When life's just outta control, you're suddenly old, and just - what's going on?!

Simple white letters on black background: "A year of lockdown has not improved my social skills." Have you been talking only to the cat? Been cutting your own hair? Forgotten how to smile? Yeah, join the post-pandemic club.

Simple white letters on black background: "Donuts are my favorite circles." I mean, there's not even really any competition. Maybe LPs. Or in very specific circumstances - a life ring. But otherwise - sweet snacks all day, baby!

Sarcastic, This is my second rodeo white

The King of the Silents.

Simple white letters on black background: "A year of lockdown has not improved my social skills." Have you been talking only to the cat? Been cutting your own hair? Forgotten how to smile? Yeah, join the post-pandemic club.

Simple white letters on black background: "Nuance? Never heard of it." Maybe there's no room for grey/gray in your worldview - everything's black or white, good or bad, up or down, awesome or terrible. This is for you.

Simple white letters on black background: "Donuts are my favorite circles." I mean, there's not even really any competition. Maybe LPs. Or in very specific circumstances - a life ring. But otherwise - sweet snacks all day, baby!

Simple white letters on black background: "I choose chaos." Hopefully you're chaotic good or at least chaotic neutral, not chaotic evil. Those people need to go through some things. But chaos can be creative, right?

Another great illustration from the renowned artist Paul Cemmick's Crazy Quotes Collection

It's a T-shirt with T-Shirt written on it that you can wear on a T-Shirt. You know, because... reasons...

Simple white letters on black background: "FOGO: Fear of going out." Ehh, going out was always over-rated and now, with a pandemic, and fascists, and Karens everywhere - just stay home. Couch good.

Jan. 1851: Russian author Leo Tolstoy confides to his diary that he'd fallen in love at a party, and then as an afterthought - "Bought a horse which I don't need at all." Ah yes, unnecessary horse; who hasn't been there?! Style variations available.

Simple white letters on black background: "coulda woulda shoulda". Ehhhhh *shrug* maybe there are some things you coulda done differently, but no regrets, hey? Unless you decided not to get vaxxed. Regret that, and then rectify it while you can.

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I'd just go.

Simple white letters on black background: "Fashion sense: Didn't think I'd see anyone I know." For the stylistically challenged and loud-trouser-wearing folks among us.

Spoilt Victorian Child

Simple white letters on black background: "Dark Robinette cancels malarkey". Sure, you can cheer for Dark Brandon or chant let's go, but in the end Dark Brandon is gettin' things done. Not even joking.

Simple white letters on black background: "Winging it." Do I look like I know what I'm doing? That's cool. Truth is, I'm making it up as I go. Possibly you are too.

Simple white letters on black background: "cautionary tale". Wear it as a warning to others - or maybe a badge of honor. Learn what not to do by observing a genuine black sheep!

Simple white letters on black background: "I have no desire to fit in." There are team players, and then there's you. You do what you want. And as long as that doesn't hurt anyone else, that's a good thing.

Simple white letters on black background: "My opinions change with new information." There's this ancient practice, largely forgotten in modern times, of learning new facts and then... adjusting one's stance. It's ground-breaking.