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I'm inspired by anxiety and profanity. I enjoy museums and going around telling people that simple designs are actually the hardest kind to create.

Magnets

Inflated Ego Magnet
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Description: A balloon dog with a cute face saying "I'm in the best shape of my life!" The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: balloon, balloon twisting, bodybuilding, clown, diet
False Positive Magnet
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Description: The number -2 says to the number -4, "What are you being so negative for?" The -4 replies, "Oh, please. As if you're not negative too." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: children, cute, dad jokes, funny, kids
A Bit Santamonious Of You To Ask Magnet
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Description: Santa asks a kid on his lap, "Have you been good?" The kid says "First, allow me to provide some context." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: christmas humor, cute, funny, funny christmas, humor
Laying It On Thick Magnet
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Description: A carrot cake with a cute face above the words "It's healthy because carrots." in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: diet, food, dessert, sweets, carrot cake
Omg It's A Flipping Vampire Magnet
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Description: A kitchen utensil with a cute face, dressed like a vampire, saying "I am... Count Spatula." Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: chef, cook, cooking, dadjokes, dracula
A Direct Report from your Direct Report Magnet
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Description: A smiley-faced figure sitting at a desk using a laptop computer and saying "I am almost certainly doing this wrong." Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: anxiety, cubicle, cute, fake it till you make it, funny
Gross Anatomy Magnet
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Description: A heart icon and an anatomical heart with cute faces. The heart icon looks at the anatomical heart and says "Ew." Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: anatomical, anatomical heart, anatomy, ew, eww
Sage Advice Magnet
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Description: An incense stick and holder with a cute face along with the words "Don't get angry. Get incensed." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: anger, angry, calm, chill, cute
Indecent Eggsposure Magnet
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Description: Two eggs with cute faces, arms and legs - one holding a monkey wrench and bending over, and the other saying "Your crack is showing." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: butt, buttocks, crack, cute, dad jokes
Shooting Straight Magnet
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Description: A rainbow-tailed shooting star with a cute face saying "I've Been Better" in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: this is fine meme, david olenick, space, not ok, anxiety
A Gripping Confession Magnet
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Description: A c-clamp and a block of wood with cute faces. The wood says "It's my only vice." Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: cclamp, dad jokes, tools, vice, vise
Taking Sides Magnet
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Description: French fries with a cute face above the words "I Would Always Like Fries With That" in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: cute, hungry, david olenick, fast food, food
Cassetting Expectations Magnet
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Description: A vinyl lp record with a cute face saying "Don't make me tell you again." to an angry childlike cassette tape. Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: 80s, cassette, dad, funny, lp
It's the Little Tings Magnet
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Description: A parent and child triangle (percussion instrument) with cute faces. The child angrily strikes itself with the beater and the parent says "Don't you dare use that tone with me." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: classical music, cute, daughter, funny, kids
Fasten Furious Magnet
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Description: A stapler with a cute face saying "I'm the one keeping things from falling apart around here." in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: assistant, cute, funny, office, office humor
He's Cooler Than He Looks Magnet
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Description: An angry, smoking backyard charcoal grill with a mini portable grill and a mini cooler. The cooler says "Your dad has no chill." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: barbeque, bbq, burger, chef, cooking
We're So Flipping Proud Of You Magnet
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Description: Mom and Dad flip phones with kid smart phone wearing mortarboard. One parent says "How'd you end up so SMART?!" The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: congrats, congratulations, cute, dad joke, flip phone
Let's Not Overreact Magnet
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Description: A graduated cylinder wearing a mortarboard says "I'm graduated!", and a chemistry flask says "You're still a tool." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: chemist, chemistry, college, dad joke, graduate
Aren't Kids a 'Scream? Magnet
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Description: A mother ice cream cone with kid cones throwing tantrums. She says into the phone, "I'll call you back... They're having another meltdown." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: food, funny, ice cream, ice cream cone, kids
Pumping Up the Jams Magnet
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Description: Two dancing hearts under a disco ball. One says "You have great rhythm.", and the other answers "So do you!" The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: club, dad jokes, dance, dance club, dancing
The High Holey Daze Magnet
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Description: A bagel with a cute face holding a glass of wine along with the words "Family gatherings are like bagels... better when lightly toasted." Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: alcohol, buzzed, dad joke, drinking, family
Be Witch Your Friends And Familiars Magnet
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Description: Three stylish witches and a cat with cute faces, alongside coffee, wine and the words "COVEN GOALS!" Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: best friends, besties, besties forever, cats, coven
I Rarely Lose My Temper Magnet
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Description: A steak dad with 2 misbehaving slider mini burger kids. The steak says "You're grounded!" The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: bbq, burger, chef, cooking, dad
Creeping You Company Magnet
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Description: A sleeping bat and spiders descending from webs with cute faces, alongside the words "GROUP HANG!" Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: bats, dad jokes, friends, funny, group hang
Baited Magnet
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Description: A fishing pole and tackle box with cute faces. The box says "Ready for some fishing?", and the pole replies "I don't know... I'm still reeling from last time." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: cute, dad, dad birthday, dad joke, father
Join the Club Magnet
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Description: A bowling ball and a golf club with cute faces. The ball says "Any plans for the weekend?", and the club replies "I'll probably just putter a round." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: bowling, dad, dad joke, fathers day, pun
I Don't Be Leaf In Violence Magnet
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Description: A pint glass of beer and a clover with cute faces. The beer shakes its fist the clover, and the clover walks away, saying "I'm a clover, not a fighter." The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: beer, clover, cute, dad jokes, drinking
Not Cool Magnet
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Description: A yeti with a cute face saying "Abominable seems a little harsh, no?", illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: abominable snowman, bigfoot, christmas, cryptids, cryptozoology
Don't Be Jelly Magnet
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Description: A jar of peanut butter with a cute face holding a spoon in one hand and a bunch of flowers in the other, with the words "Peanut Butter is my Boyfriend", illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: boyfriend, comfort food, cute, dating, diet
The Road Not Taken Magnet
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Description: A landscape and sun with a cute face saying "Adventure awaits! Let it." in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: adventure awaits, antisocial, couch potato, cute, funny
Coffee, But First... Magnet
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Description: A coffee mug with a cute face above the words "I can't have my coffee until I've had my coffee." in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: but first coffee, caffeine, cute, funny, good morning
Not Filling Well Magnet
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Description: A bucket with a cute face saying "DO I LOOK PAIL TO YOU?". The pun is illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: beach, bucket, cute, dad jokes, funny
Oh, the Mundanity! Magnet
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Description: A cute surprised face saying "OH MY GOD WHO GIVES A FUCK", illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: bored, boring, cool story bro, cute, dgaf
A Reel Classic Magnet
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Description: A cassette tape with a cute face saying "They don't make 'em like me anymore." in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: 80s, aging, birthday, cassette, cute
Existential Shred Magnet
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Description: A partially grated wedge of cheese and a grater with cute faces, along with the words "I'm grate, and you?" Illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: anxiety, cheese, cheese grater, chef, cooking
Blunder the Circumstances Magnet
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Description: A joyously leaping smiley-faced figure with the words "I've Ruined Everything!", illustrated in a simple, minimalist style.

Tags: catastrophic, catastrophising, cute, funny, ironic

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