Pillows
Jaws ’75 Pillow
$28
Description: It's a great job if you're a writer. Five months of solitude in an isolated hotel with nothing to do but make sure each wing gets heated throughout the winter, and deal with any weather damage that might occur to the structure during the many blizzards. Oh, and then of course, there are the ghosts to contend with. If you bring the family, the apparitions may try to convince you to take to the wife and kids with an axe. But aside from that, it's the perfect job for a writer.
Jaws 19 Pillow
$28
The Kid Pillow
$28
VideoMax Pillow
$28
Description: Don’t settle for a dodgy wig that’s gonna come off at the wrong time. Get yourself down to Queens and visit Morrie’s Wig Shop, right next door to the Suite Nite Club. This guy’s wigs are tested against hurricane winds (so important!) and are guaranteed to stay on your cranium (unless you’re being assaulted by a local wiseguy).
Spackler Pillow
$28
Description: As though they wish to see a glimpse of what the heat would be like Hades, old folks move to Florida in their retirement years. They have air-conditioning, but rarely use it. They eat dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon and squabble amongst themselves. And when their kids come to visit, they lay out the sofa bed with the annoying bar running down the centre of the mattress, denying any living thing a good night's sleep.