Snark Central

Description: but, at least it's not boring

Description: That means you don't have to hit me.

Description: That's unsanitary.

Description: Sometimes, you just gotta get out there

Description: I thought we sorted this in the sixties.

Description: running my mouth and pushing my luck

Description: Much funnier than drunk with power

Description: customer service staple

Description: I mean... I was, but we broke up.

Description: has heard aaall about you.

Description: but they have pills for that now

Description: can help

Description: blood in my caffeine system

Description: I would be set for life.

Description: from someone who doesn't have do deal with the consequences. Like... don't take advice from me.

Description: need your exact time of birth because there's a sucker born every minute

Description: clashes with the carpet. You know why.

Description: Be honest...

Description: is my worst enema

Description: nobody wants to take out the trash

Description: unless you plan to take me on a cruise

Description: "everything happens for a reason"

Description: than with vinegar. Good thing I don't like flies.

Description: isn't as easy as I make it look

Description: but only until about 9 pm

Description: you have been warned.

Description: seems to have malfunctioned

Description: your art is your art, it's fine and divine

Description: that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Description: before it was cool

Description: Abracadabra! A Labrador retriever who can do magic. The friendliest possible wizard. Dog lovers' magic spell

Description: to a joke about social distancing. A dad joke for the quarantine. "dad joke"

Description: a vegetarian zombie

Description: next to your personal lube

Description: while you're doing it? If only we knew a bit earlier...

Description: unless that new experience is a tiger